


Sugar Maple

by Maraudererasmut, Purplechimera



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Bakery, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Baked Goods, Bakery, Bakery and Coffee Shop, Baking, Coma, Don't ask us how this started, Fire, First Meetings, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gay Sirius Black, Hospitals, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, Meet-Cute, Mentions of Cancer, Sirius works with wood, This started as a meet cute I have no idea what happened!, Woodworker!Sirius, baker!Remus, carpenter Sirius, if you know what i mean, woodworking
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-04
Updated: 2019-11-14
Packaged: 2020-06-03 22:54:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 21,526
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19473889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maraudererasmut/pseuds/Maraudererasmut, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Purplechimera/pseuds/Purplechimera
Summary: Remus is a baker who is working hard on growing his small business. Sirius is a woodworker who is determined to work with his hands for the rest of his life. After a frustrating meet-cute, these two men grow together, figuring out their paths in life. They soon realize that two seemingly different lives can parallel each other when passion is the driving force.(Alternately: The One in Which Remus Bakes and Sirius Handles Wood)((Rating may change as story progresses))





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story accidentally happened when Purplechimera and myself (Maraudererasmut) started talking about our respective hobbies. Now we accidentally have a meet-cute with a baker and a woodworker that has evolved into so much more!
> 
> We hope you enjoy this visit into the craziness that is our brains as we write about wood and scones!
> 
> A HUGE thank-you to PurpleChimera, who is an absolutely brilliant writing partner and whom I have SO much respect for! This has been such a fun story to write, especially since writing with you is so easy!
> 
> Another big thank you to our beta, Jennandblitz, who is keen and observant and who calls us on our BS. Please keep reading our stories, even when they get weird!

“This was a fucking terrible idea, Marlene.” 

Remus threw his allen wrench across the bakery. It skittered along the open Ikea box and bumped against the check-out counter. Of course, Marlene wasn’t here right now; she was probably at home relaxing and drinking wine. Remus, meanwhile, was here at the bakery. Not in the back, where he belonged, but up front in Marlene’s territory, because she insisted that two folding tables covered in table cloths were not appropriate displays for his goods.

He glanced at the antique clock above the register-it was nearing 10pm. The construction next to him creaked ominously. He was pretty sure there were supposed to be an equal number of shelves on each side. And that the shelves were supposed to be level with the ground.

Perhaps the pictorial instructions would make more sense in the morning.

There was a light tap on the window, and Remus rolled his eyes. He unlocked the deadbolt without removing the chain, and only looked up when he opened his mouth. “We-”

This man was very tall. Very tall, and very, very attractive. Remus was suddenly self-conscious of his sweatpants and stained t-shirt.

“We’re closed. I’m just assembling some things.”

The man smiled and gestured through the window. “It looks like you could use some help.” His voice was deep and gravelly and  _ wonderful _ .

“Oh, thank you, but I’m fine. I’m just assembling some new display shelves.”

The man’s eyes narrowed in confusion, and he looked back through the window. Remus followed his gaze-did he not know this was a bakery?

“You know, to put out pies and cakes and things, for people to see.”

He rubbed a hand over his jaw, and Remus’ imagination was suddenly filled with the sensation of stubble scratching on skin. “I don’t think a bookshelf is the best way to display cakes.”

Remus squared his shoulders as best he could from his position, speaking to an insanely attractive stranger through the chain gap of his bakery door. “And I suppose you are an expert at displaying cakes?”

The man laughed, and it swooped straight through Remus’ stomach. “I don’t know  _ anything _ about cakes, aside from eating them. But I do know a bit about building displays.” He produced a business card and, when Remus took it, their fingers brushed. The other man’s fingertips were rough with callouses, Remus couldn’t suppress a shiver, especially when he was flashed a crooked grin. Remus watched him walk away until he turned the corner, then glanced down at the card.

_ Black and Hammered _

_ Sirius Black _

_ Master Carpenter _

  
  


————-

  
  


"Nah, mate! You should've seen 'im!"

Sirius Black was lying on the couch in their tiny flat, feet hanging carelessly over the armrest, arms hugging a squishy pillow. He had been recalling the night's events to his roommate, who was unusually preoccupied with another matter.

"Yes yes, hot guy, very nice, Sirius," James muttered, brushing his friend off. "See, I've got an actual  _ date _ planned. With a person who has agreed to go  _ out _ with me. A person with whom I have spoken to on  _ more than one occasion _ . Pretty sure this is a higher priority!"

Sirius let out a weary sigh and sat up, swinging his legs back to the floor. He watched James pacing their living room, all ten feet of it, and rolled his eyes. 

"James, calm down, it'll be fine. The hard part's over! You got her to agree to a date! All you've gotta do is be yourself!" 

"Easy for you to say, Sirius. When's the last time you've been on a date?"

" _ Oi _ !" 

Sirius tossed the pillow he was holding at his flatmate, hitting him squarely in the face. When James grumbled angrily, Sirius barked a triumphant laugh, earning him a smack from the very same pillow.

"Look, you're gonna be fine, James. You meet for coffee. You pay for her food. You make sure to talk about her interests and you've got it in the bag! I don't know what you're so fussed about!" Sirius' tone was softer now, a bit more understanding. Contrary to popular belief, Sirius could be gentle when he needed to be. 

"I suppose you're right," James sighed, sinking down into the seat next to Sirius and grabbing his Rubik's cube from the coffee table. 

"I always am." Sirius smirked at his best friend before giving him a gentle nudge in the ribs. "Hey, can I talk about my thing now?"

" _ Fine _ ," James groaned. "It's not like I have a choice." 

"So…" Sirius started, choosing to ignore James' previous comment. "I'm walking back from the shop, right?" 

"We've been over this part. You stayed late doing that project and bumped into him on the way home."

Sirius flashed James a frustrated glare before continuing where he left off.

"So  _ I'm walking back from the shop _ , and I'm walking down Wilson, and I see this bloke in the window doing god knows what with a hammer!" 

James sniggered, nonchalantly fiddling with his Rubik's cube, twisting it between his fingers. Sirius shot him a dirty look and James stopped fidgeting. 

"So he's trying to build these shelves or something, I don't know what for, but he looks absolutely hopeless. And then he throws his allen key across the room! The poor bloke looks like he's never built anything in his life!"

"Yeah, yeah. And you two meet and share a look and live happily ever—"

"Would you shut  _ up _ ?" Despite his tone, Sirius was grinning, a slight flush spreading across his pale cheeks. " _ Anyway _ ! I knock on the door and he opens it and he's just…" 

Sirius paused, considering his words carefully, the sound of James' puzzle filling the silence. "Scrawny as hell, kinda dorky, but just…" Sirius let out a sigh, recalling the moment when the man's delicate hands grazed against his own.

"You're really smitten with him…"

Sirius looked up and saw James staring at him, mouth agape, Rubik's cube sitting forgotten on the couch. 

"I mean, he's  _ cute… _ "

"Sirius, I haven't heard you talk about a guy like this since—"

A threatening glare from Sirius cut James off before he could finish his sentence.

"Did you at least get a name?"

"Nah…" Sirius glanced down at his hands, picking at the cracked skin, dry from a hard day's work. "But I gave him my card…"


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thanks to @Maraudererasmut for being an awesome co-author, and @jennandblitz for being an awesome beta!

_ Bang bang bang _

Remus pounded on Marlene’s door, a large coffee and a chocolate croissant in the other hand. “Marlene! Open up!”

There was a significant amount of groaning and shuffling, and her door cracked open. Her eyes flicked from Remus’ face to his hands. “Is that chocolate?”

“And a vanilla latte.” He surrendered the goods, and the door shut. After about ten seconds, it opened again, and Marlene was fully dressed, croissant hanging out of her mouth. 

“So.” she swallowed. “What’s up?”

“I tried to build your shelves yesterday.”

They made their way down the stairs and out onto the street, turning in the direction of the bakery. Marlene sipped her coffee.

“I was...not successful. But I may have met someone who could help?”

Marlene stopped walking. “You met someone while trying to build shelves.”

Remus felt his cheeks heat as his memory supplied him with the feel of the other man’s fingers as he handed over his business card. “His name is Sirius.”

“You are the most infuriating person I have ever met.” Marlene dug out her keys and unlocked the bakery door while Remus bee-lined across the floor to turn off the alarm.

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“You’re the only person who-”

Remus watched her take in the disaster that was the front-of-house, mouth agape. He crossed his arms over his chest. “I  _ told  _ you it was a terrible idea. I am no good at building things.” With a sudden air of trepidation, Remus extracted Sirius’ business card from his pocket and placed it next to the till. “Maybe you could give him a call?”

He fled to the kitchens.

“Hey Lils!” Marlene’s voice drifted back, cutting through the whirring of mixers. “Any chance you could come in a bit early? I need some clean-up help.”

Remus turned on the third mixer, even though it was empty. Then he washed his hands. Again. 

“This is your fault anyway, Marlene,” he muttered, scrubbing angrily at his fingers. 

He had moved on to angrily kneading dough for baguettes when Lily poked her head in, her red hair tied back in a tight plait. “You okay?”

Remus didn’t answer; he punched the dough with rather more force than necessary. 

“Look. We will fix this, okay? I know a guy who’s pretty handy. I’ll ask him if he can drop by and give us a hand.”

“Thanks, Lily.” Remus gave her half a smile, and folded the dough with a bit more care than the moment before.

Lily blew him a kiss and disappeared.

——-

_ Ring ring. _

Sirius didn't hear the phone ringing over the sound of his dust collector, noisily chugging along in the corner of the room, sucking up sawdust from all his machines. It didn't help that he was running the sanders, which made their fair share of noise in the shop.

_ Ring ring. _

Sirius pushed his piece of wood against the beltsander, feeling it shape and form within his hands. He could smell the walnut dust in the air, bright, woodsy, and unique to this species. He inhaled deeply, despite knowing how dumb of an idea that was, and savoured the scent of the wood. His favourite wood. 

_ Shit. _

Sirius had relaxed too much around the machinery and nicked his knuckle against the whirring sander. He pulled his hand away abruptly, looking at his finger to survey the damage.

"God dammit," he muttered to himself as he shut his machines off. He put down his project and stuck his knuckle in his mouth, trying to stop the bleeding. 

_ Ring ring. _

"God  _ dammit! _ " 

Sirius heard the phone this time, but he needed to put a bandage on his finger before he got blood everywhere. With his uninjured hand, he grabbed his cellphone from his workbench and wedged it between his ear and his shoulder.

"What?" He answered gruffly, making a bee line for the first aid kit.

"Oh! Um… hello? Is this Sirius?"

_ Shit shit shit shit. _

"Yeah, sorry. I… can I call you back in a sec?" Sirius was struggling to get the box open with one hand and the phone was starting to slip.

"Uh… yeah… sure?"

"Great, thanks." 

He grabbed the phone and hung up before tossing it back on his workbench. 

After wrapping his injured finger, Sirius grabbed his cell and checked the caller I.D. He hadn't recognized the voice on the other end and was feeling rather guilty for his rude greeting, especially considering that it was a stranger he has spoken to.

_ Lily Evans. _

"Lily? As in… James' Lily?" Sirius was pondering aloud to himself as he pressed call and brought his phone to his ear.

"Hello?"

"Hey. Hi. This is Sirius Black. You called just a second ago?"

"Oh, yeah. Hello."

The voice on the other end sounded timid and Sirius grimaced at the thought of terrifying the poor woman. 

"Look, I'm sorry about that. You had… caught me at a bad time. How can I help you?"

"This is Lily. I'm… friends with James? I don't know if he's mentioned me to you or anything…"

"Oh, he's mentioned you alright." Sirius chuckled as he walked over to his sander and grabbed the piece of walnut he was working on.

"Oh! Um… good! Well, I was wondering… James said you're a carpenter and that you're pretty handy. He suggested I call you. We could really use someone at our store. We've got a bit of a building project and it's looking a little... daunting."

"I can do daunting." Sirius twisted the piece of wood around in his hand, examining it for errors.

"Good! Great. Um… I'm not sure what your rates are or anything…"

Sirius laughed again, still admiring his handiwork. 

"Lemme take a look at it first. Chances are it's not as bad as you think. As long as it doesn't take too long, you can just tell James he owes me one and we'll call it even."

"You don't have to do that…"

Sirius put the piece of wood down on the workbench and roughly swatted at his pants to try to remove some of the sawdust that had settled there.

"Not like I've got anything else to do today. Text me the address, I'll be there in a bit."

"Thank you, Sirius."

The woodworker hung up the phone and shoved it in his pocket before grabbing his jacket and helmet and heading out the door.

\---

It didn’t take Remus very long to settle his brain, and soon he had all his machines going, making breads and cakes and all manner of  _ things he could actually make, Marlene, thank you very much. _

He tactfully did not ask Marlene whether she’d called Sirius when she came back for muffins. Or when she fetched a new batch of croissants. In fact, he had just settled down to decorate a birthday cake when Lily poked her head in. 

“Hey! My carpenter friend is on his way-do you want to come out?”

Remus glanced from the tip of his icing bag up at her, then to the sketch of a mermaid he was supposed to be drawing. “I think I’ll stay in my area of expertise, thanks. Marlene can handle cost and stuff.”

“Right.”

He went back to his piping, falling into the meditative, trance-like state he reached when doing repetitive tasks like fish scales. When he pulled back to reality his hand flashed with pain and he groaned when he rose from his stool, rubbing at the palm of one hand with the thumb of the other.

That’s when his eyes wandered, and everything fell apart. 

Because, out the little plastic window of the swinging doors was the same cocky smile he had seen through the crack in the door last night; the same inky hair, being tucked behind an ear by the calloused fingers that had sparked against his own.

He couldn’t understand what they were saying, but he could hear the deep baritone of Sirius’ laugh as Marlene gestured helplessly around the cafe. The door bumped into him, and Remus practically jumped out of the way. 

“Hi!” he yelped, almost instinctively.

Lily, who had been heading to the cooling racks, paused and turned, raising her eyebrow. “Hi,” she said slowly, before turning back and pulling a tray of chocolate chip cookies. “Have you run out of things to do?”

“What?” Remus ripped his gaze away from Sirius, who had bent to examine something, and glowered at Lily’s smirk. “Of course I have something to do!”

She laughed as she exited the kitchen, and Remus grabbed a piping bag so hard he got covered with green icing.

“Pull yourself together, mate,” he muttered, going to the wash sink. “You’ve baking to do.”

  
  


——-

  
  


Sirius pulled up to the address that Lily had texted him, narrowing his eyes in confusion. He pulled out his phone and double checked, confirming that he got his information right. He did. 

"Must be a coincidence," he mumbled before walking up to the door and giving it a knock.

The door swung open revealing a short redhead with feisty green eyes and a smattering of freckles across her nose. She was slender and athletic, the type of girl who could give James a run for his money. Sirius stared for a moment before finally collecting himself.

"Hi, I'm Sirius. We spoke on the phone?"

"Hi! Thank you so much for coming!" The girl beamed at him, dimples forming on her cheeks. "I'm Lily."

She stuck out her hand and Sirius shook it, surprised at the firmness of her grip.

"James' description did  _ not _ do you justice. How did he get a girl like you to go on a date with him?"

Lily's cheeks glowed as her face reddened. She sheepishly tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear before shrugging and giving a non-committal response. 

Sirius laughed and followed her inside, stopping dead in his tracks when he noticed what the room actually looked like.

In all his years as a carpenter, Sirius had never seen so much destruction. Screws and allen keys littered the floor, planks of MDF scattered about, some broken, some partly assembled. It was a graveyard of Ikea shelves, all desperately arranged into piles that made absolutely no sense. Whoever had attempted this building project was fundamentally hopeless and should have been permanently banned from holding a tool ever again.

"Holy  _ shit _ …" Sirius muttered, taking in the scene.

"Yeah…" Lily mumbled, nodding her head.

"Oh, thank  _ god _ he's here! Hi, I'm Marlene."

Sirius turned around to find himself greeted by a tough looking woman, blonde hair cropped short, wearing ripped jeans, a band tee and a leather jacket. He liked her aesthetic. 

She held out a hand and Sirius shook it, surprised at how soft her handshake was compared to her coarse exterior.

"What the hell happened here?" Sirius asked, looking around the room, discovering more half-built shelves hiding in a corner.

"Remus happened," Marlene offered, rolling her eyes and gesturing around the room. Sirius couldn't keep himself from laughing his typical full-bodied laugh. He tucked his hair behind his ear and turned to Lily, who was already heading back into the kitchen.

"I take it Remus is the fellow who owns the place?"

"He's the baker," Marlene cut in, crossing her arms. "We  _ all _ own the place. It was an investment."

"Well then, you have quite the lovely place here!"

Marlene scowled at Sirius, who couldn't suppress his grin. 

"Alright, what's the plan?" Sirius was ready to get started. This was clearly going to be a challenge, and there was nothing that Sirius loved more than a challenge. 

\---

After Sirius left, Remus got about half an hour of fully concentrating on his work before Marlene poked her head in, announcing that Sirius would be back after closing to get measurements and things. He cursed and angrily kneaded dough all afternoon. By the time Lily closed the front of house, he’d sterilized the entire kitchen. 

A knock at the door made him jump, and Remus hurried over to unlock it. 

“Hi.”

Sirius smiled, running a hand through his hair. “Hey. Can I come in?”

“Oh, right.” Remus backed up, and he was hit with the scent of wood and leather as Sirius strode past. “Is, uh, there anything you need from me?”

Sirius, who was already measuring the counter, glanced up. “Actually, there is! Stay away from hammers.”

With a defeated sigh, Remus leaned against the tiny table in the corner and watched. He watched Sirius measure and jot things down. He watched the way he un-tied and re-tied his hair while he was thinking. Mostly, he watched the way Sirius’ fingers ran over surfaces, like he was trying to memorize everything with his fingertips.

“Right,” Sirius said finally, tucking away his papers. “I’ll be by with some blueprints in a few days, and then we can pick out wood.”

“Wood?”

There goes that grin, again. “Yes,  _ wood _ . Some people use it to build things. Other people use it to stack aimlessly around bakeries.”

Remus felt his cheeks heating, and he quickly turned to unlock the door. “Yes. Right. Well. Thank you. See you later.”

“See you later, Remus.”

The brush of Sirius’ fingers down his arm burned the rest of the night.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thanks to @jennandblitz for being a wonderful beta for us!

_Soft and warm._

Everything around Remus was soft and warm. 

His fingertips, soft and warm against the roughness of Sirius' own coarse hands.

The bakery, with its glowing lights, heated from the ovens in the back, the smell of baking food constantly wafting through the air. 

The wonderful pastries that Remus created that Marlene so generously allowed Sirius to sample. So delicate, so delicious, they fell apart in his hands and melted in his mouth.

_Soft and warm._

It was so different than Sirius' life, where everything was hard and cold. 

The way his mother spoke to him when he told her he planned on leaving Engineering. The words his father used when they found out his sexual inclinations. The sound of the door closing behind him as he left his parents' place for the last time. 

Sirius walked into his workshop, the glow from outside the window serving as the only lightsource. He couldn't go home, not yet. He needed to clear his mind. He flipped on the power switch and grabbed the piece of walnut that he had been working on earlier. 

That was what Sirius loved most about wood. It was rigid, immalleable, solid to the touch, yet, within his hands, it could be shaped and formed, bent and changed. It would succumb to Sirius' will, bringing to life anything he could imagine. It became smooth, soft, delicate. In Sirius' hands, wood became something beautiful. 

Sirius turned on his sander and pressed the walnut against the oscillating spindle, watching as it contoured and changed before his very eyes. Walnut dust flew up in the air, filling the room with its scent; this was Sirius' favourite thing in the world, and the perfect way for him to think through his emotions. 

~

Three weeks. That’s what Sirius had said yesterday. _Hah_ , Remus thought, glaring up at his darkened ceiling. _Yesterday. It’s been about four hours._ He reached over, blindly smashing the button on the fancy sleep-assisting clock Lily had gotten him for his birthday. Red numbers flashed on the crown moulding: 2:37. Remus threw the covers off and padded into the bathroom. If he wasn’t going to sleep, he may as well start on his day.

The moment he unlocked the bakery, he was flooded with sense memories of the night before. Sirius, smelling like wood, his calloused fingers brushing Remus’ as he passed over the end of a measuring tape. With a small shake, Remus practically fled to the kitchens. 

Lily arrived precisely on time, as always. By that time Remus had two different flavors of scones and a dozen loaves of bread on the cooling racks. Her whistling poked through the gaps in the doors, penetrating the whirr of mixers; Remus couldn’t help but smile when she pushed the door open with her hip, a cup of coffee in each hand.

“Bless you.” He wiped his hands on his apron and accepted the mug, perching on a work stool. Lily chose one across from him.

“You’ve been here a while,” she nodded toward the cooling racks.

“Couldn’t sleep.”

Lily made a non-commital noise as she sipped her coffee. After an unusually awkward silence, she cleared her throat. “So. How’d it go last night?”

A dozen images from the night before flashed in Remus’ mind. “What?”

“Sirius. Does he have a plan?”

“Yeah! He…” Remus stretched his hands out. “He measured. And wrote stuff down.”

Her eyebrows knitted together. “Yes...that’s usually what he does. Did he give you any sketches? Say when he’d have some blueprints?”

It was Remus’ turn to frown. “No. He wasn’t using a colored pencil.”

Lily blinked several times, then stood up. “I think I’ll just ask him myself.”

Remus watched her go, then, shrugging, swallowed the last dregs of his coffee and turned his attention toward cupcakes.

—

"Hey Sirius!"

Lily walked into the apartment as James opened the door for her, a tray with three coffee cups in one hand, a bag of what seemed like baked goods in the other. 

"God bless you, Lily," Sirius gushed as she set her various trappings down on the kitchen counter. "How an angel like you ended up dating Jimbo over here, I'll never understand!"

Lily gave a gentle chuckle as James shot his friend a scathing look. 

"You like it black, right?"

"And she even knows my coffee order!" Sirius feigned an enamoured look, bringing the back of his hand to his forehead.

"That's 'cause I told it to her, nitwit," James grumbled, grabbing his own coffee. 

Sirius graciously took his coffee from Lily and pressed it to his lips, savouring the deep bitter scent as it filled his lungs. He took his first sip, allowing the liquid to burn its way down his throat. 

"Ah… you, my dear, are a goddess." Sirius noticed the brown bag on the counter and peered inside, his eyes lighting up as he saw its contents. "Are those Remus'?!"

"Yeah, he made them this morning! There's blueberry scones and vanilla scones. Hope you like scones," she laughed, pulling one out for herself.

"Don't mind if I do!" James reached in and grabbed two baked treats, handing one to Sirius. 

One bite and Sirius knew he was in trouble.

This was the perfect scone. It was light and buttery, slightly flakey, the insides delicately flavoured. It almost fell apart in Sirius' hands and practically melted in his mouth. Sirius closed his eyes for a moment, savouring his scone. 

_Handsome and talented. Deadly combination._

"Hello? Earth to Sirius!"

Sirius opened his eyes to find James staring at him, brow raised curiously. 

"Hmm?" Sirius offered between bites of his pastry.

"Lily asked if you had any plans to show her. Did you not hear her?"

"Sorry," Sirius tried to say, crumbs spilling from his mouth. He wiped his lips with the back of his hand and swallowed, grinning sheepishly at his friends "Got lost in my own little world there for a moment."

"Yeah, Remus' food'll do that," Lily joked. She clearly was no stranger to her friend's baking. "So any idea what you're doing for the bakery? And any clue on cost?"

The last question tugged uncomfortably at the pit of Sirius' stomach. On the one hand, the woodworker knew that he needed to be compensated for his efforts. Sirius normally despised when friends wanted work from him for free; it was the bane of every artist's existence. On the other hand, this was for Remus…

All bright brown eyes and freckles, Remus was as adorable as he was skilled, which in and of itself was a feat. The very notion of being able to see Remus smile was enough for Sirius to want to do the entire project free of charge. 

"Yeah…" Sirius began, weighing his words. "I've got some blueprints in my shop. You can come by later today if you wanna see them. As for cost, we can figure that out later. I'm still not sure about what woods you guys want to use and stuff. And I don't know if it'll even take that long for the job. Don't worry about it for now."

~

Even more than usual, Remus buried himself in baking; it seemed like every time he glanced out the window to front-of-house, Sirius was there. He laughed with Marlene, he tucked Lily’s copper tresses under his chin when he hugged her. His shirt hugged his bicep _just_ so as he reached high for a measurement. 

“Shit.”

Once again, Remus had let his mind wander, and his hand turned the mixer on too high too quickly, causing flour to explode all over him. He let out a long suffering sigh and wiped his face on the corner of his apron. 

“Focus, damnit. There’s work to do,” he muttered, and for once, when he glanced to the front-of-house, Sirius wasn’t there. He scanned the display tables, shifted some more blueberry-lemon scones to a display tray, and began assembling more fruit tarts. 

By the end of the week, Remus had almost gotten back to himself-though he was well aware it was only because he hadn’t had any direct encounters with Sirius. Or Sirius’ hands. So it was without hesitation that he said “yes” when Lily asked for everything-rolls for a thing she had the next day, even though it meant staying a bit late.

“I really appreciate it, Remus.”

He waved one hand, idly registering that his arm freckles were faded with flour. “Of all the things you could have asked for, rolls are one of the easiest. I’ll just leave them in the office?”

She smiled. “Thank you again, Remus.” She paused, and then shattered Remus’ tenuous hold on his sanity with one line. “By the way, Sirius should be here in ten minutes.”

~ 

"Anybody home?"

Sirius pushed open the door to the bakery, Lily's words ringing in his ears. _"By the way, Sirius, it'll just be you and Remus tonight. Marlene has the night off and I'm getting ready for that thing tomorrow."_ Sirius grimaced to himself, trying desperately not to recall the sensation he felt when he saw the blush that crept across Remus’ cheeks sometimes. This would be the first time since beginning this project that Sirius would be working alone with just Remus in the bakery, and he was as nervous as he was excited.

_Get it together, idiot._

Sirius knew he needed to keep his wits about him tonight, especially considering that he was going to begin working with power tools. He needed to concentrate, or else things could go disastrously wrong in an instant.

"Well…" Sirius called out to the room at large, unsure of whether or not Remus could hear him. "I'm just gonna be in and out for a bit. I've got a few things to bring in."

Sirius placed his toolbag down on the ground before heading outside to James' car to grab his power tools.

"No answer?" James asked as he opened the trunk.

"Nope. Guess he hates me," Sirius teased half-heartedly. He was too apprehensive to admit it to James, but Sirius genuinely wondered whether or not Remus disliked him. After all, the baker had never come out into the main room while Sirius was working. In fact, he seemed to avoid all interaction with Sirius entirely. Sirius closed his eyes and willed his mind to return to the task at hand. "James, help me with the chop saw. Grab that end."

The two men carefully lifted Sirius' miter saw and brought it into the bakery, placing it unceremoniously on the table that Lily had left out as Sirius' workbench. They both left the building to continue dragging tools and wood from James' car into Sirius' new workspace. 

—

Remus stood frozen, his apron hovering half over his head. Sirius had just pushed open the bakery door, and _he wasn’t wearing a shirt_. 

_Why? Why was he not wearing a shirt? Surely shirts are useful for protecting unusually broad chests from...saw dust, or something._

Sirius turned and walked out the door. _Wait!_ Remus’ brain screamed, though his body was still doing a fantastic interpretation of a statue. _Come back!_

Sirius did come back, only a moment later, carrying some kind of medieval torture device with another black-haired man. James. That’s Lily’s boyfriend. Remus was jolted out of his frozen state by the thud of something-- probably that torture device-- on a table, and he quickly finished removing his apron. Then he added a few more brownies to the tray he’d assembled, lifted it up, and walked out the kitchen door. 

~

Sirius looked up to find the most glorious sight he could have ever imagined: a devilishly handsome man carrying a tray of his favourite baked goods. The smell of the fresh brownies wafted lazily through the air, causing the woodworker to salivate desperately. 

“Remus, I take it? We’ve never been formally introduced.” 

It took all of Sirius’ might to keep his practiced composure and calm demeanour. His eyes remained averted from the delectable plate of steaming brownies and various baked treats that silently called his name, opting instead to focus on the baker who had been on his mind constantly throughout the past few days.

“Yes. Um… brownies?”

Sirius tried-- and failed-- to suppress a grin as Remus stumbled with his words. The woodworker wiped his hands against his dusty jeans, trying to clear the worst of the sawdust and oil from them, before reaching out and grabbing a brownie.

“Don’t mind if I do.” He flashed Remus a coy smirk, running a hand instinctively through his messy hair.

“Oh, yes! Those look delicious! Lily always says how good a baker you are, Remus!” James reached forward and snatched a brownie for himself before sticking a hand out in greeting. “James. I’m Lily’s boyfriend. We’ve never met, but I’ve heard tons about you.”

“Remus,” the baker muttered, grabbing James’ hand loosely and giving a feeble handshake. 

James let out a hearty laugh, grabbing a second brownie to stuff in his mouth.

“Yes,” he said, spitting crumbs about. “We know.”

“Oh. Yes. Right.” Remus’ gaze drifted to Sirius’ chest for a moment before immediately darting away and staring at the miter saw. “What’s that?”

“Oh!” Sirius was always more than happy to talk about his tools whenever the opportunity presented itself. “That’s my chopsaw. She’s a beauty, isn’t she? Finally got this one after I replaced that old hunk of junk I used to work with. This is the first job I get to use her on!”

Sirius couldn’t decipher the look on Remus’ face, but he knew that he was likely boring the hapless baker, who didn’t seem to have any desire to talk about tools or wood. 

“So…” James started awkwardly, grabbing himself a third brownie. “I’d better get going. Helping Lily out. Have fun tonight!” He spun around and clamped a hand down on Sirius’ shoulder firmly, giving his friend an intentional look that spoke volumes. Sirius rolled his eyes before turning his attention back to Remus. 

“Ready for a fun evening of woodworking?” Sirius’ face was beaming as he saw the blush begin to creep up Remus’ neck, spreading across his freckled cheeks. 

~

Remus watched James leave, and with him the only salvation to an evening free of stumbling over his words like an idiot.

“Er...I’ll just...put these…” He glanced around. “There isn’t really a safe place to put these out here, is there?”

Sirius smirked, glancing over his shoulder as he fiddled with something near his chopsaw. “Anything out here is going to be covered in sawdust in about fifteen minutes.” 

The words barely penetrated Remus’ ears, distracted as he was by the way Sirius’ muscles caused the dog tattoo on his shoulder to look like it was moving. “Right. I’ll just…” Remus retreated to the kitchen, breathing in the scent of his sanctuary as the sound of the saw started up. 

_Oh, the gods are merciful after all_ . Remus glanced out the kitchen window to see that Sirius had materialized a shirt from somewhere. _Maybe my brain will start functioning correctly again._ Not knowing proper woodworking protocol, Remus waited until the sound of the saw stopped for more than thirty seconds before emerging from the kitchen again, this time with two lidded cups of water. He set one next to the till, which seemed to be the area least covered in sawdust, and perched on a chair.

“I have no idea what you are doing.”

Sirius’ laughter swooped right through Remus’ stomach and he began narrating what he was doing. Remus didn’t understand _any_ of it, but he was quite content to listen to the rich timbre of Sirius’ voice say words he didn’t know while he watched Sirius’ hands create structures from chaos.

-

"I have no idea what you are doing."

Sirius let out a hearty laugh as he watched Remus fiddle with his cup from the corner of his eye. There was something endearing about the baker who was endlessly fascinated with this process despite his complete lack of ability and knowledge. 

"Right, so, right now I'm building a base for the counter and the display unit. I've already done my measurements and I'm cutting up the two-by-fours so that they can form a solid structure. This thing here helps me cut my miter angles so that I'm not left putting these bad boys together with butt joints."

Sirius glanced back at Remus and noticed cinnamon brown eyes completely glazed over. He felt his chest tighten and his stomach churn as he stared at Remus, taking in his flour-dusted hair and freckled cheeks. The woodworker turned back to his machine, hiding his own reddening cheeks from view.

"Anyway, this is just the beginning. We still need to go wood shopping for whatever hardwood or laminate you want to cover the counter tops with. Honestly, if I were you, I'd go with a solid hard wood. Something like walnut…" Sirius trailed off as he imagined a finished walnut countertop, rich brown colours glowing in the warm bakery lights, making the room feel homier than it had ever been. He could smell baked goods interspersed with the beeswax finish. It was simple, natural, perfect. 

Sirius turned around again, the machine left forgotten on his workbench. He raised his safety goggles to his head and smiled at Remus. 

"Do you want to come wood shopping with me this weekend?"

—

“Sure?” Remus was flooded with images of Sirius’ hands touching wood pieces, fingers sliding over the grains like Remus’ own fingers did when he examined produce. He felt his cheeks heating and quickly took a sip of water. “I have some baking to do in the morning, but I could meet you for lunch?” 

The smile that lit up Sirius’ face warmed Remus right to his toes. He tapped one heel against the leg of his chair, his own smile directed down into his cup. 

The rest of the evening passed much more comfortably than Remus had imagined; once he got over his initial awkwardness, suddenly talking to Sirius was easier than breathing. He rambled about his baking, and how Marlene had convinced him to start selling things while they were still at uni, and that he’d only stopped selling at farmer’s markets in the last year when Marlene and Lily practically bullied him into opening a proper cafe.

“So, here we are,” he waved a hand, encompassing the building. “In desperate need of display space, but I seem to have found a knight to rescue me from that as well.” 

Remus looked up and caught his breath as Sirius lifted up the bottom of his shirt to wipe sweat from his brow. 

“My wood handling skills are at your service.”

Remus laughed, though he could feel himself blushing again. 

“Alright, well, I think that’s enough for tonight.” Sirius took a long drink of water, and Remus watched Sirius’ Adam’s apple bob. For the first time in several hours, Remus looked around. There was what looked like the skeleton of a counter, and several stacks of wood next to it. 

They locked up, and Remus looked around for a car. “Do...you need me to call a taxi? I just live there-” he gestured to the building across the street.

“Nah. Brought my bike.” Sirius produced a helmet and grinned. “Well. I’ll pick you up tomorrow then?”

“Yeah. See you tomorrow.”

“Goodnight, Remus.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is a day late y'all! Real life happens. *shrug* but here it is, and a nice little escalation of the plot, and don't forget to note the rating change from T to M!  
> As always thank you to @jennandblitz for the beta!  
> ~Purple and Tracy

Sirius woke up in his bed, heart racing, stomach churning, a pile of blankets balled up at his feet.

“Shit…” Sirius rolled over and lazily planted his feet on the ground, mumbling obscenities along the way. Yesterday, the notion of going wood shopping with Remus had seemed like a brilliant idea. In the early morning light, however, it was obvious how stupid this plan was. 

“Brilliant idea. ‘Hey Remus… let’s go get wood!’” Sirius made fun of himself, imitating his own voice with condescending mockery. “Yeah, no, let’s spend the whole day together, just you and me! That’s bound to end well for everybody involved!” 

“Talking to yourself again?”

Sirius nearly jumped out of his pants at the sound of James’ voice coming from his threshold. He turned to glare at his flatmate, who was standing in the doorway with his arms crossed and a smug grin tugging at the corners of his mouth.

“Shove it up your arse, Prongs.”

James laughed and ran a hand through his already messy hair. 

“C’mon Sirius. It’s not that bad. It’s just… wood… shopping?”

Sirius rubbed his eyes, trying desperately to get his bearings despite his profound lack of sleep. He dragged himself out of bed and hobbled past James on his way to the kitchen, wearing nothing but his boxers. It wasn’t until he heard a shriek and a startled giggle that Sirius realized his morning had just gotten exponentially worse.

“Fuck!” Sirius swore loudly, grabbing handfuls of his hair in frustration. “Bloody hell, Prongs!” 

Standing by the open fridge, wearing nothing but a pair of panties and James’ shirt and rapidly turning an obscene shade of red, was Lily. She tugged the bottom of the shirt down, trying desperately to hide her bare legs as she scrambled to close the fridge door. 

“Good morning, Sirius,” she muttered sheepishly.

“Don’t bother,” Sirius groaned as he reached for the box of cereal that James had left on the counter. “There’s nothing there that I’m interested in.” 

James chuckled at Lily’s confused look before chiming in.

“He’s gay, Lils. No interest in women.”

“Oh!” Lily turned to look at Sirius, who was pouring milk over top of his sugar cereal. “I didn’t realize…”

Sirius didn’t respond to Lily, choosing instead to bring his breakfast to the couch.

“Is that why you and Remus are going on a--” 

James shot Lily a look before she finished her sentence, but it was too late. Sirius’ head snapped up and he glared at his best friend’s girlfriend. 

“Go on,” he said sharply, shovelling a spoonful of chocolatey balls into his mouth. “Say it.”

“I mean… you’re going wood shopping today, right?”

“It’s not a  _ fucking date _ ,” Sirius growled between mouthfuls. He had been up all night panicking about today; knowing that Lily thought it was a date was indicative of how Remus felt. If Remus thought it was a date, Sirius knew he would be in trouble. The bowl of cereal clanged unceremoniously against the coffee table as Sirius stood up. 

“Taking a shower,” he called grumpily to the room at large as he trudged over to the bathroom. “You’d better be wearing clothes when I get out.” 

~

Lily didn’t make any innuendos about Remus shopping for wood, and neither did Marlene. As the morning progressed, Remus became more and more suspicious. But the girls acted completely normal, bustling in and out of the kitchen and making ridiculous drinks, despite only having about a quarter the cafe space. 

“Okay! I’m heading out for wood!” He called loudly, propping open the kitchen door with one hip.

“Have fun!”

“Pick out something nice!”

Remus narrowed his eyes, but retreated into the office to change into a shirt that wasn’t covered in batter. He sat on the curb for all of three minutes before the engine of Sirius’ motorbike broke the quiet of the street, and when he pulled his helmet off, his hair did that thing that always happens in the movies but  _ never _ in real life. 

“You ready?”

Remus stood, but suddenly his hands were clammy and he had to wipe them on his jeans. “Er-”

Sirius tossed an extra helmet at him, which he nearly dropped. He quickly slammed it on his head to hide his burning cheeks. He stood on the curb for several moments until Sirius reached up, lifting his visor. 

“Have you been on a motorcycle before?”

Remus shook his head. With a crooked grin, Sirius showed him where to sit, and where to hold on. Then he slammed his own helmet back on, opened the throttle, and they were off. Remus kept a death grip on the handles, and he couldn’t tell if his gasping was from the way the bike leaned, or the way Sirius’ back shifted against his chest. It was certainly not from the way Sirius’ arse pressed backwards when they went around a sharp curve, though Remus spent most of the ride sending thank yous to whoever designed motorcycle helmets that covered your entire face.

By the time they pulled into a parking spot, Remus had to sit for several moments to calm himself down. Sirius seemed to sense this-either way, he waited patiently for Remus to take off his own helmet before locking them up and leading the way inside.

~

_ Remus’ cock. _

Sirius was shocked that he had managed to arrive at the lumber store in once piece considering he had only one thing on his mind for the entire ride there.

Remus’ cock.

It had been pressed up against him, taunting him at every turn; partnered with the way Remus’ body was forced against Sirius’ back, it was absolutely, fundamentally, unequivocally the best and worst thing that had ever happened to Sirius. 

Once they stopped in the parking lot of the store, Sirius had to take a moment to catch his breath and forget about the one thing his mind wanted most. He closed his eyes and sat there, perfectly still, grateful that Remus wasn’t moving either. 

_ Think unsexy thoughts. _

_ Think unsexy thoughts. _

It was a task that was far more difficult than Sirius could have imagined. The sweet smell from that morning’s baked goods lingered on Remus’ clothing. The soft panting of Remus’ breath keeping steady time with Sirius’ heart.

_ Mother’s saggy chin folds. _

_ Mother’s saggy chin folds. _

_ Mother’s saggy chin folds. _

By the time Remus removed his helmet, Sirius was ready to dismount without revealing anything particularly incriminating. The two men got off the bike and Sirius locked it before they headed towards the lumber store. 

"You're in for a treat," Sirius said playfully, a content smile creeping across his face. Lumber Mills was Sirius' favourite place to buy wood; he even found himself wandering the aisles in his spare time, surrounded by his element. "It's really cool in there."

—

Never in his life had Remus felt more like a lost puppy. He trailed after Sirius, listening attentively to lengthy descriptions of different types of wood and what kinds of things they were best used for, and then promptly left the information in the aisle when they moved on. 

“So! Do you have any thoughts?” Sirius was smiling at him, his fingers idly running along the sample woods they were standing in front of.

“I think...I didn’t realize there were so many shades of brown.”

Sirius stared for a moment before nearly doubling over with laughter. “You’re a baker, mate. How many different kinds of brown do  _ you _ know?”

Remus straightened his posture indignantly. “Not this many! There’s rye, and wheat, barley...I guess chocolate comes in several colors... _ fine _ .” He crossed his arms, but he couldn’t keep the corner of his mouth from twitching up. 

~

Sirius was in his element, and Remus wasn’t— it was a nice change for once. Normally, Sirius would visit the bakery and smell the baked goods, catching glimpses of Remus through the tiny window as he bustled about, creating perfection.

Sirius couldn’t help but grin as Remus talked about baking in the aisle of the wood store, a small smirk beginning to form across his lips. His plump lips. Lips that seemed so delectable, Sirius wanted to lean in and taste them. 

Sirius ran a hand through his hair, trying to steady his heart rate and redirect his thoughts towards the task at had. He turned around and began staring intently at the sample boards, running his fingers along them, letting the smoothness of the wood distract him. The smell of the store, with machine oil lingering in the air mixed with woodsy scents helped draw Sirius in, focusing him, keeping him on track.

Sirius picked up a piece of wood and held it in his hands, admiring the slight shimmer that it produced as he turned it over. 

“This is sugar maple, Remus,” Sirius began. He wasn’t going to make Remus decide on a wood without first giving him a little lesson on what makes each species unique and beautiful. “It’s a particular species of maple, commonly known as  _ hard maple _ . Maple is a fantastic wood because it’s hard, sturdy and heavy. It’s super durable, so it would make a great counter top. It also has this unique quality to it that doesn’t really appear in other woods. Do you see that shimmer? That’s a particular characteristic of maple.”

Sirius rotated the piece of wood in his hands, letting it catch the light. He couldn’t help but notice the look on Remus’ face and his stomach did an excellent impression of an acrobat. Sirius leaned in and handed the wood to Remus, feeling their fingers brush slightly as his companion took the wood. Sirius immediately turned away, hiding his blush, and grabbed another piece of wood to describe. 

_

Remus turned the wood over and over in his hand, trying to understand it. Everything he was used to handling yielded to his touch-dough, batter, pies-but this was both very smooth, and very  _ firm _ . 

He became suddenly aware that Sirius was looking at him, waiting as though expecting some kind of response. He looked down at the piece of wood again. “I made maple sugar cookies for a Canada Day party last year.”

Sirius blinked at him. Remus mentally hit himself in the head.

“Oh! I...didn’t realize you’re Canadian.”

“I’m not.” Perhaps this piece of wood might suddenly pull him into another dimension. The silence stretched for what felt like hours, but was probably actually only a few seconds. “My flatmate at uni was Canadian. Is. She’s still Canadian.”

Sirius quirked an eyebrow. “Did you make her chocolate mousse?”

“Did I-oh my god, Sirius.” Remus rolled his eyes but he couldn’t hold in his laughter this time, wiping his eye with the back of his hand. 

Sirius’ grey eyes tracked the block of wood still in Remus’ hands, and while Remus was distracted by the heat creeping up the back of his neck, Sirius’ fingers reached up toward Remus’ hand.

“I think we should go with this one.” But instead of grabbing the wood, like Remus had expected, Sirius gently stretched out a curl of Remus’ hair, running his fingertips along the strands until it recoiled. 

Remus froze, hand still by his eye, heart suddenly rattling against his chest. “The sugar maple?”

“Yeah.” Sirius blinked and dropped his hand. “Seems fitting for a bakery.” He shrugged, and suddenly the playful Sirius was back, rambling on about the next type of wood on the aisle.

~

"Walnut! That's my favourite kind of wood!"

Sirius picked up the piece of walnut, his mind racing.

"It's known for its colour, a unique property to this species."

_ He's going to think you're a freak! A complete weirdo! Maybe you are a weirdo… _

"It's got this warm dark brown colour, sometimes even purplish, but you can also get a lot of variance, even within a single board."

_ What kind of a weirdo reaches out and touches someone's sproingly curls? _

"It also has a distinct scent when you cut into it. It's actually a really great smell."

_ They really were quite sproingly, though…  _

"Um…" Remus interrupted Sirius' thoughts and rambling. Sirius stopped in his tracks and turned around, trying desperately not to watch the delicate curls atop Remus' head bounce around playfully.

"Yeah?"

"Didn't we already decide on this one?" Remus held up the piece of sugar maple that he was still holding. Sirius blinked once before looking back down at the walnut in his hand.

"Yeah…" Sirius said slowly, turning the heavy wood around in his fingers. "But don't you want to learn more about the other woods?"

"Um…" Remus said softly, his eyes drifting down slightly. His shy mumbling said everything Sirius needed to know.

"No, you're right! It's fine! We decided on that one…" Sirius ran a hand through his hair sheepishly, remembering that not everyone was as interested in wood as he was. "This is probably really boring for you. Sorry…"

~

Panic flooded Remus. “No! I just…” he waved the piece of maple around as though it could summon words for him. “It’s a bit overwhelming here. Could...could we go somewhere...smaller?”

Sirius’ brow furrowed in thought, and Remus wiped his empty hand on his trousers to avoid smoothing out the wrinkles. “I do have bits of a lot of these woods at my shop…”

“You have a shop? Of course you have a shop, that’s silly. Shall we then?” And, for once in his life, Remus didn’t think. He dropped the maple block on the shelf, grabbed Sirius’ hand, and pulled him out the door. 

Once they were in front of Sirius’ motorbike, panic flooded him again. 

_ What the hell am I doing?? _

But Sirius seemed to have returned to himself, and was unlocking the bike, so Remus fell back into following, slamming on his helmet and climbing on the back. The wind pushed smells inside Remus’ helmet: sawdust, sweat, Sirius. All too soon and simultaneously forever, Sirius pulled the bike into a parking spot and turned it off.

“Welcome to my home.”

~

Sirius unlocked the door to his shop, a small room in an industrial building that he rented from a friend. It was his safe haven, his escape, his favourite place in the world, and until that very moment, it had always been his and his alone.

They stepped inside and Sirius flicked the lights on, inhaling deeply to savour the familiar scents of wood and machine oil; the smells that made him the most comfortable. Sirius turned around and beamed at Remus, spreading his arms out to his shop.

“So… What do you think?”

“What do I…” Sirius watched as Remus’ eyes widened as he took in the tools and supplies. There were shelves filled with wood, both local and exotic, machines covered in a fine layer of dust, a table filled with unfinished projects, papers and hand tools scattered about. Remus’ grin spread wider as he took it all in, and Sirius’ stomach churned as he admired the look of awe. “I think it’s amazing.”

“I know, it’s not much,” Sirius started, running his hand through his hair nervously. “But it’s mine.”

“It’s really wonderful, Sirius.” 

In a sudden burst of confidence, Sirius grabbed Remus’ hand and gently pulled him towards the workbench, where he had his current project sitting, waiting to be finished. He picked it up and handed it to Remus, letting his hand linger as Remus’ fingers pressed against his own.

“This’s what I’ve spent the past few days on, in my spare time.” 

Remus turned the piece of wood around in his hand, and he seemed to be feeling the carved details, the grooves and notches, the changes in texture. He looked up, brown eyes sparkling joyously, perfectly matching the colour of the walnut he was holding.

“It’s… a wolf?”

“Yeah!” Sirius grinned enthusiastically, pulling out his rough sketch from underneath a pile of papers. “Or, it will be. It’s really coming along, but it still needs a lot of work. You can’t take it home yet.”

“Yet…?”

Sirius’ eyes widened slightly as he realized that he let something slip. He turned to the table and began cleaning up slightly, busying himself with his hands. 

“Yeah, it was supposed to be a surprise,” he mumbled to the table, before looking up at Remus. “But I’m kind of an idiot and I let it slip. It’s a wolf… you know… like the bakery?”

Remus put the carving down on the table, his eyes remaining affixed to Sirius’. Sirius swallowed and took a deep breath, trying to remind himself that Remus was a client and it really was a terrible idea to lean in and kiss him. 

Their eyes stayed locked for a moment, a thousand feelings coursing through Sirius’ mind, flooding his body, causing his fingers to tingle. The adrenaline, the silence, the smells, the setting, everything seemed perfect. A perfect moment to lean forward. A perfect moment to--

Before Sirius knew what was going on, he and Remus were pressed together, their lips captured in a tender kiss, Sirius’ fingers running through the bouncy curls that he had grown to adore. It seemed like an eternity and a millisecond all in one, and before Sirius was done the kiss, they had already pulled apart, hearts racing, chests pounding.

“Wow…” Remus muttered, his mouth agape, his lips parted delectably. 

“Yeah…” Sirius managed to say, before taking a step closer.

That was it. When Sirius moved towards Remus, all resistance was broken, the barriers came crashing down, hesitation was thrown out the window. 

Remus was in Sirius’ arms, his body pressing against Sirius’ torso, his teeth tugging at Sirius’ lips. Sirius returned the kiss, fueled by passion and pent-up feelings, his hands wandering across the body that he had spent far too long thinking about. 

In a sudden whirl of excitement, Sirius reached down and lifted Remus by his thighs, raising him to waist height. Their kiss broke off for a moment as Remus gasped, but continued again when he pushed forward and tugged at Sirius’ hair. Sirius gently placed Remus on the workbench, leaning fully into their kiss, exploring Remus’ torso, his thighs, his neck, his shoulders, all with wandering hands. 

Sirius tore himself away from Remus’ lips and buried his face in the crook of the baker’s neck, savouring the sweet smells, licking away the light dusting of flour that never managed to be washed off. As he kissed and teased and gently bit on the tender flesh of his partner’s pulse point, Remus let out a tantalizing gasp that drove Sirius absolutely wild. 

He was hungry.

They were both hungry. 

They both grasped and clawed at each other, desperate for more. Remus’ hands had begun to stray, making their way up Sirius’ shirt. Sirius was nipping at Remus’ bottom lip, relishing the taste of his mouth. Sirius ground his hips forward in an urge to reach more friction and then--

_ Ring Ring _

“Shit,” Remus muttered, breaking away from the kiss and shattering the moment.

The two men were left panting, drawing slowly away from one another, Remus sitting on the workbench, Sirius standing in the middle of his shop. 

This was not how Sirius expected the afternoon to go.

~

“Hello?” Remus’ eyes fell to the floor, suddenly flushed with embarrassment about what had just been happening.

“Is this Remus Lupin?”

“Yes, can I help you?”

“Hello, Mr. Lupin. This is Alastor Moody, from the Metropolitan Police. There has been an incident in Monmouth. Are you able to come down to the station? We are in touch with the Monmouth police.”

Remus’ stomach dropped like a stone. His body flashed hot, then cold, and suddenly there wasn’t enough air in the room.

“Mr. Lupin?”

“Uh. Yeah. I...I’ll be right there.” He hung up and stared at his phone. Sirius touched his shoulder, and he jumped.

“Remus? Are you alright?”

Remus swallowed and looked up into the face he’d just been snogging. “Can...can you take me to the police station? I think something’s happened to my parents.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sirius POV by @maraudererasmut  
> Remus POV by @purplechimera  
> Thanks to @jennandblitz for the beta
> 
> Sorry it didn't get posted yesterday!

Before Sirius had a chance to absorb what was happening, he was on his motorbike, tearing down the street, Remus clinging to his leather jacket. 

They arrived at the station and Remus nearly fell off the bike in a desperate attempt to get there faster. Sirius dismounted and made to follow Remus before he heard his name being called. He turned around to find James flagging him over outside of the police station.

"Prongs?" Sirius jogged over to his friend, concern and confusion creasing his handsome features. "What the hell is going on?"

"I don't know the full story," James began, fidgeting with his lighter, an unlit cigarette in his quivering hand. "But Lily got a call and we came straight over. Something to do with Remus' parents."

Sirius closed his eyes and rubbed his temples, trying to make sense of what was happening. James' explanation didn't clear anything up.

"Lily?" Sirius shook his head, running a hand through his hair anxiously. "What's she got to do with this?"

"They're childhood friends, Pads. You didn't know that?"

Sirius  _ didn't _ know that. When he thought about it, Sirius realised he didn't know anything about Remus, except for the fact that he could bake. There he was, thinking he was falling for this man, thinking this man could have fallen for him, when really it was playing pretend. Sirius let out a helpless groan and grabbed James' cigarette, taking a deep drag before saying anything.

"Shit."

It was all he could muster.

"Yeah…" James seemed to be equally lost for words.

"Should we… Go inside?" Sirius turned to look at the entrance, but he couldn't see Remus or Lily through the glass doors.

"Nah… Lily asked me to wait out here. I think you should do the same." James paused for a moment before lifting his hand and placing it on Sirius' shoulder. "I'm sorry, mate."

"What? Why are you apologizing to me?"

"I know you guys were on a date and all…"

The silence hung precariously in the air; Sirius didn't bother protesting against James' use of the word 'date'. James pulled out a new cigarette and lit it, inhaling deeply before letting out an exhausted sigh. The boys stood side by side, leaning against the wall, watching as cars zipped by on the busy road. 

"What do I do?" Sirius didn't remember his voice being that hoarse, that desperate.

James turned to look at Sirius before his gaze fell to the ground.

"Just… be there for him, I guess.”

______

Detective Inspector Moody was nearly as broad as he was tall-which wasn’t saying all that much. Still, it seemed to Remus that all that breadth was hardened, wiry muscle and not padding from sitting in an office all day. Even Moody’s office felt small to Remus-towering bookcases jammed with files and law books and who knows what else filled all the walls, and the chairs were shoved in as if they were an afterthought.

Moody stroked his iron mustache while he spoke gruffly into the phone. After several moments, he set the handset on the large calendar in the middle of his desk. “Lad, I am going to let you talk to the Monmouth police in a moment. But I want you to know that I am a detective who specializes in long-lasting crime syndicates.” He held out the handset.

Remus blinked, taking the phone almost reflexively. “Hello?”

The voice that poured out of the speaker was too high to be his father’s, but it held the same lilted accent that felt like home. “Hello, Mr. Lupin. I’m sorry to have to do this over the phone. There was an arson incident on your parents’ property. Your mother has been flown to an intensive care hospital, but your father died on the scene.”

It’s possible that the entire office had just been flipped upside down by a giant. Remus tried desperately to string the words into some kind of comprehensible sentence, but his brain seemed incapable. 

“Mr. Lupin?”

He swallowed. “Arson? Like, a fire?”

“Yes. A fire set on purpose. Your mother is at Southmead Hospital in Bristol.”

“Bristol.”

“Aye. It was the closest hospital to air lift her to.”

There was a long silence, and then the inspector asked for Remus’ cell phone number, so he could be contacted directly. He gave the contact for the hospital, which Remus wrote down on a piece of paper Moody shoved at him after he tried to type it in his phone. 

“I’ll be in touch, lad.” Moody patted Remus on the shoulder (some back corner of his mind was surprised Moody could even  _ reach _ his shoulder), and suddenly Remus was blinking in the late afternoon sunlight.

Sirius and James were leaning against the building, holding cigarettes. The three of them stared at each other, and then, without really thinking, Remus blurted out, “There was a fire. My mum is in hospital in Bristol.” 

Then he turned and started walking down the street.

~

"Remus?"

Sirius pulled himself away from the wall, staring at Remus' back as he hustled down the street. The woodworker wasn't quite sure he heard the baker correctly, it had all come out as an incoherent string of words, but he was pretty sure that it wasn't good. 

"Remus!"

Sirius made to follow Remus, but was stopped by a hand grasping his wrist. He spun around and looked into James' deep brown eyes, flooded with concern. Sirius pulled his arm, but was unable to shake his friend's grip.

"Lemme go! I have to make sure he's okay!"

James didn't say a word; he simply nodded in the direction of the police station entrance where Lily was standing. Her arms were wrapped around her body and squeezing her torso, as if she could fall apart at any moment. 

"Okay,  _ you _ deal with Lily. I need to make sure he's—"

"Sirius," Lily managed to choke out, her voice hoarse and frail. Sirius turned to look at her again and noticed the pain marring her gentle features. 

"What?" It came out a bit sharper than he intended. He took a breath, relaxed his body, and tried it again. "Sorry… yeah… what's up, Lily?"

"You and James go home… I've got Remus…"

Sirius shook his head, still confused about the entire situation. 

"But… he said something about Bristol…"

" _ Please _ ..." Her voice was quiet and broken, her arms tightening around her body.

James put a hand on Sirius' shoulder. "C'mon, Pads." 

Sirius sighed and ran his hands through his hair in frustration. He looked over at James, whose expression was firm. Sirius nodded softly, knowing that this was not an argument he was liable to win. The two boys turned to leave when they heard Lily's voice break behind them.

"James?"

James turned around but didn't make any move to close the distance between himself and Lily. 

"Yeah, Lils?"

"I'm so sorry to ask, and I normally wouldn't, I just…"

"Hey, hey… it's okay. C'mere." James opened his arms and Lily slowly walked towards him, barely holding back tears. When she got close, James wrapped his arms around her and pulled her in before whispering in her ear. "Anything. You can ask me anything, Lily. I'm here."

"Remus and I have to head out to Bristol and neither of us have a car and—"

James gave Lily another squeeze and kissed her head affectionately. 

"Say no more. Take the car. I'll catch a ride home with Sirius."

"Thank you," Lily mumbled into James' shirt, her tears finally breaking. 

"Gimme a call once you and Remus are packed up. I have an idea, but I have to make arrangements first."

"An idea…?"

"Leave it to me."

James pulled away from Lily and brought his hand to her face, gently wiping a tear with his thumb. She gave him a sad smile before he leaned in and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead. He dug through his pocket for his keys, pressed them into her hand, and whispered something in her ear before turning around. 

"C'mon Pads."

Sirius and James walked away as Lily headed towards James' car. Once they were far enough away from her that they wouldn't be overhead, Sirius turned to James. 

"Dad's shop was in Bristol."

"Mmhmm."

"You gonna call mum?"

"Yeah."

"'Kay. I'm gonna head down there with them."

Sirius swung a leg over his bike and lifted the kickstand, waiting for James to mount behind him.

"You're just going to help them settle in and then you'll head back here, right Pads?" Sirius cocked an eyebrow at James, garnering a resigned sigh from his roommate. "Yeah, didn't think so. You sure that's a good idea?"

"No." Sirius shrugged, turning his attention to the road. "But I'm not gonna leave him alone. Not when he needs me. Now get on before I leave you here…"

"Yeah yeah…" James muttered, shoving his head in the helmet that Remus had used earlier that day before climbing on behind Sirius. "Just don't kill me, yeah?"

—

Remus nearly screamed until he realized it was Lily who had grabbed his arm. He tried to shake her off, but she had always been irritatingly strong. 

“Come on, Remus. I’ll help you pack.”

“What?”

Her green eyes shone with tears, but her jaw was firm. “Pack. You have to bring clothes and things. They won’t let you borrow a hospital gown.”

Remus finally yanked his arm free, running his hands through his curls. “I can’t. I can’t leave. I have a bakery, I can’t just shut down the bakery to go to  _ Bristol _ , Lily!” Some part of him realized he was shouting but he didn’t have the energy to care.

Lily poked his chest. “Your mother is in  _ hospital _ , Remus. You aren’t going on fucking holiday.” She grabbed his arm, clearly thinking he would protest, because he ended up stumbling after her toward the car park. “In.” She shoved him toward the passenger door, and he opened it without question. 

He followed her up to his flat, surrendered his keys, and sat blankly on the sofa, untouched tea cooling in his hand while Lily bustled around, throwing things in a bag. She had a conversation on the phone, but she could have spoken Swahili for all Remus comprehended. 

There was a knock at the door, and Remus jumped so much he spilled his cold tea all over himself. Lily answered the door. Sirius walked in, carrying a duffle bag, James trailing behind. 

For a few seconds-or a few hours- the four of them stood in Remus’ living room while cold tea seeped down Remus’ trouser leg. Eventually, Sirius cleared his throat.

“Mum-James’ mum, not mine- and Dad have a flat in Bristol they aren’t using right now. Said we could borrow it.”

Remus blinked at him. “We?”

James spoke up this time. “Well we aren’t very well going to let you go alone.”

“But...you barely know me.” His fingers flexed on his mug, begging to dig into anything, to pull his thoughts out of his head and shove them into dough.

Lily crossed the room and wrapped her arms around Remus, who suddenly couldn’t stop trembling. 

“The bakery,” he kept repeating. “We can’t close the bakery.” Then they were sinking to the floor in a pile of wet trousers and sundresses, and Lily was half smiling even though her eyes were bright with tears.

“I’ll have Marlene call Benji Fenwick in the morning, alright? You know he is always offering to help.”

They packed James' car in complete silence. It was odd, how well the four of them moved in sync, like they'd been around each other all their lives. 

Remus and Lily took the back seat, while Sirius and James filled the front with ridiculous renditions of classic songs. By the time they arrived in Bristol, Lily was singing along. Remus stared out the window as they pulled in to a multi-storey car park, then followed James down an elevator, across a pedestrian bridge and into a flat.

It was, quite possibly, the most ridiculous “flat” Remus had ever seen. It was  _ huge _ ; it took up nearly the entire floor. When rounding the corner revealed a spacious kitchen, Remus stopped in his tracks. 

“You’ve broken him,” Lily stage-whispered somewhere behind him. “This kitchen is nearly as big as the one at the bakery.”

James appeared in Remus’ peripheral vision. “You are welcome to use the kitchen in any way you like, Remus. I’ll go grocery shopping in the morning-just make me a list.”

The words might have been a magic spell; Remus rushed through the kitchen, opening drawers and cabinets, nodding approvingly at the appliances and bakery ware he found. Lily produced a sheet of paper, and Remus wrote an extraordinarily detailed shopping list. About halfway through, Lily kissed him on the cheek and whispered good night. He looked up to find Sirius sitting across the breakfast table, watching him.

~

Remus was enamoured with Euphemia Potter's old kitchen and Sirius was enamoured with Remus.

The way he bustled around, going through cupboards and drawers, nodding at appliances, taking notes on his piece of paper— Remus was in his element. Sirius couldn't help but smile in adoration; it was nice to see the real Remus again. 

It wasn't that he didn't understand; Sirius knew exactly what it felt like to lose a father. The death of a parent was a pain unlike any other, and Sirius himself was never the same after Fleamont passed away. 

The entire car ride up to Bristol, Remus had remained silent in the back seat, staring out the window. He hardly acknowledged Sirius' presence when they saw each other and he moved through his own flat as if on autopilot. The moment he saw the kitchen, however, the spark of recognition filled his eyes and for the briefest of moments, he was acting like Remus again.

When James and Lily popped by the kitchen to say goodnight, Remus was still busying himself with all the new toys available to him. 

"See you in the morning, Prongs," Sirius muttered, his eyes remaining focused on the baker. 

"Make sure he sleeps, yeah?" James was looking in Remus' direction, but his eyes were focused on the redhead who was kissing him goodnight. 

"Don't worry, I will. You worry 'bout Lily. She's gonna need you these next few days."

James nodded, placed a hand on Sirius' shoulder, and gave his friend a firm squeeze before escorting his girlfriend to the master bedroom.

Remus seemed to have noticed that something was different and looked up, catching Sirius' eye for the first time. Sirius smiled in response, unable to look away, despite his embarrassment. 

"Hey…" It was all Sirius could come up with. Despite knowing what Remus was going through, despite going through it himself a year ago, he still couldn't find the words of comfort he knew Remus needed.

"Hi…"

Neither man moved; they simply watched each other for a moment, trying to figure out where to go from there. It felt like an eternity before Sirius finally opened his mouth to speak.

"You know, I make a mean omelette."

"Huh?"

"For breakfast. In the morning. If you're hungry. You haven't really eaten all day, but I figured you might not want to… but I can make you food if you're hungry tomorrow."

"Oh…"

When Sirius realised the conversation wasn't working, he decided to switch tactics. "So… you'll be in James' old room. Hope you like deer… he's got a lot of them in there. Used to be obsessed as a kid…"

Remus stared at Sirius blankly for a moment before responding. "Uh, yeah. Whatever. It's fine."

"Want… Want me to show you to your room?" 

Remus shrugged and Sirius decided to take that response as a yes. He got up from the table and led the way to his friend's childhood bedroom, where Remus' bags were already carefully placed on the floor.

"There's… a trundle bed. Not that you'd want me to stay or anything, but if… if you didn't want to be alone…" Sirius trailed off, his eyes drifting slowly to the floor. He had no idea how to help Remus, he was just trying his best in a difficult situation. 

—

It was as though the enormity of everything hit him in the face all at once. His eyes looked at the murals of leaping deer on the walls, the antler-shaped headboard, the woodland-print bedspread. Then he looked back at Sirius.

“Mum always called me her little wolf cub.”

Then he was falling and Sirius was catching him and guiding him to the bed and his whole body shook with sobs that couldn’t seem to leave him fast enough. When he finally stopped, he became aware of several things: his face was pressed against Sirius chest; Sirius’ shirt was soaked through with tears; Sirius’ fingers were stroking up and down Remus’ spine in a way that made Remus want to both fall asleep and stretch up for a kiss. Instead, he pulled back and wiped his eyes with the end of his shirt.

“Sorry.”

Sirius’ other hand brushed against Remus’ jaw, forcing him to look up. “It’s alright.” He pressed a soft kiss to Remus’ curls, and the tears started all over again. Sirius shifted them, easing back until they were both lying down, Remus tucked under Sirius’ arm, his fingers clutching at the damp fabric of Sirius’ shirt.

“Please-” Remus was slightly surprised at how desperate his voice sounded- “please don’t go.”

Sirius’ arm tightened around him. “I won’t.”

It wasn't until he woke up that Remus realized he'd fallen asleep. His face was still pressed against Sirius' chest, though the fabric knotted in his fingers was dry now. He blinked and shifted; the black blur in front of him focused into a phone. Glancing up, he saw that Sirius was reading.

"Hi." Sirius smiled down at him, immediately discarding his phone on the nightstand. "You wouldn't let go, so…"

Remus immediately released Sirius' shirt, but Sirius' long, calloused fingers caught his own, pressing their hands against Sirius' chest. 

“It’s alright.” 

The breath Remus hadn’t known he was holding hissed between his teeth, and he looked up into Sirius’ warm, grey eyes. “Okay,” he muttered. “I-I need to…” he flexed his fingers.

Sirius sat them up, nodding. “Come on. Let’s go see if James and Lily are back from the store with your list.”

~

Sirius led the way to the kitchen, his mind racing, his heart thrumming, the smell of Remus still lingering on yesterday's clothing. Sirius' body had moved of its own accord last night, leaping into action, doing the things that would comfort Remus, saying the words that he needed to hear. Sirius was never particularly meticulous or calculated, but he generally put at least some amount of thought into his decisions; last night, his brain had turned off and his instincts took over.

Now that his brain had switched back on, the world seemed a little different.

Sirius was a little less confident, a little less willing to reach out and hold Remus the way he had done the night before. He was a little less sure of himself— debating every move, every action, every word that he spoke aloud.

When they entered Euphemia's kitchen, James and Lily greeted the boys with warm smiles. 

"Morning," Lily said softly. "Sleep okay?"

Sirius noticed Remus shrug in response and felt his stomach drop. Was sleeping in the same bed as Remus a mistake? Did Remus regret falling asleep on Sirius already? Sirius took a calming breath and focused his efforts on greeting his friends.

"Was a bit weird being back in that room, but yeah, we slept fine. You?"

James and Lily nodded, exchanging a less-than-subtle look between themselves. Sirius rolled his eyes and glanced at Remus, who was already sifting through the contents of the refrigerator. 

"Hungry?" Sirius directed his question to James and Lily, but it was Remus who responded. 

"Not really. Just want to keep my hands busy…"

His fingers were flexing again, begging to dig themselves into his work. Sirius knew that feeling all too well. 

"How 'bout you two?"

"I could eat," James grinned. Sirius smiled, knowing that his best mate relished the moments when Sirius offered to cook breakfast. He did make a mean omelette, afterall. 

Sirius headed to the fridge to fish out ingredients, barely registering the conversation that Lily and James were having at the table. He sidled up next to Remus, their fingers grazing for a moment before the baker abruptly pulled away. Sirius clenched his fist, trying to keep himself calm, digging his nails into his palm to distract himself from the dull ache in his chest and the pit of his stomach.

Sirius pulled out his breakfast ingredients and got to work, with Remus occasionally weaving in and out of his way as he scurried about the kitchen. 

After Sirius had ensured that Lily and James were fed and that he himself was sufficiently caffeinated, he took a deep breath and approached Remus. The baker didn't notice him at first, so Sirius reached out and placed a tentative hand on his shoulder. Remus turned to face Sirius, startled from the unexpected contact. Sirius couldn't help but notice the puffy red eyes of someone who had recently been crying. His heart sank as he watched Remus' fallen expression drift back down towards his hands.

"You have to eat, Remus. Let me make you something.  _ Please? _ "

—

“I’m not hungry,” Remus muttered, turning back to the counter. He quickly busied himself with measuring ingredients, focusing perhaps too intently on a recipe he’d made multiple times a day for the past three years. 

The sharp buzz of his phone caused him to jump, and he glanced from his dough-covered hands to his pocket. 

_ Buzz. Buzz. _

Remus looked up to find Sirius watching him from the other side of the kitchen. “Uh. Could you…?” he gestured vaguely at his pocket.

“What-oh!” Sirius reached out, and Remus’ pocket was filled with warmth before the weight of his phone disappeared. “Hello?”

Remus buried his hands back into the dough.

“No, this is his... friend.”

Remus’ breath caught in his throat at Sirius’ stutter.

“May I take a message?” 

Another pause, but this time, it was broken by Sirius whispering in Remus’ ear. “It’s the hospital. Do you want to talk to them, or call them back?”

Remus’ heart felt as though it was going to burst out of his chest, and he didn’t know if it was from the phone call, or Sirius’ breath on his ear.  _ Both? It’s always both, isn’t it? _

“I’ll answer, but-” Remus held up his sticky hands. Without another word, Sirius’ breath was replaced with the smooth glass of his phone. “Hello, this is Remus.”

“Yes, hello, Mr. Lupin. This is Dr. Pomfrey. I was calling to inform you, as you are listed as next-of-kin, that Ms. Hope Lupin has been successfully admitted to our burn ward and is in stable condition, in a medically induced coma.”

“Oh. Um. Thank you.” His fingers flexed in the dough.

“She’s in room 394. Visiting hours are from 8am until 8pm.”

“Right.”

“Have a good day, Mr. Lupin.”

“You too.” He pulled his head away from the phone, and glanced over his shoulder at Sirius. “She’s stable, but in a coma.” 

Remus turned back to his dough. Out of the corner of his eye, he thought he saw Sirius reach for him, but by the time he turned around, Sirius was gone.

~

Sirius left the kitchen with James and Lily, their voices hushed whispers in the vast flat. 

“So, are you coming with us to the hospital?”

Lily shook her head, glancing at James before responding.

“No. Someone has to take care of the bakery. I wish we could, but…” She trailed off, her eyes drifting down towards her hands. Sirius knew what she was implying; as much as Lily and James wanted to remain in Bristol with Remus and Sirius, they had jobs and lives that they had to return to. Sirius, who worked on commission and had his uncle’s inheritance to rely on, was fortunate enough to be able to leave the city on a whim. Lily and James weren’t so lucky.

“It’s fine,” Sirius insisted, offering Lily a gentle smile. “I’ve got him. You guys head out in the car. Don’t want you missing another day of work. I’ll call a cab and take him to the hospital once he’s done his…” Sirius nodded towards the kitchen. "... That."

“Are you sure?” Lily’s bright green eyes were laced with concern, worry creasing her delicate features. James had an arm wrapped around her shoulder but didn’t say anything.

“Yeah, I’m sure. If we end up needing to stay for a while, I’ll get a car or something. We’ll figure it out.” Sirius looked at James, who nodded at him. He glanced back at Lily, who didn’t seem particularly convinced that things would be okay. “We’ll  _ figure it out _ , Lily. I promise.”

“Remus is in good hands,” James whispered, giving his girlfriend a gentle squeeze. 

Sirius helped James and Lily gather their things together. They both entered the kitchen to say goodbye to Remus while Sirius brought their bags down to the car. Once they were gone, Sirius made his way back up to the flat. He stood in the kitchen doorway, leaning against the threshold, watching as Remus worked his frustrations out into the dough. 

“It’s weird,” he said eventually, breaking the looming silence that had enveloped the room.

Remus looked up, startled, before collecting himself and raising a brow. “Weird?”

“Yeah. It’s weird…” Sirius trailed off, collecting his thoughts. “Baking, woodworking… they’re so different, but…”

Remus glanced down at his pants, covered in flour, at the dough forming beneath his hands. He looked back up at Sirius and shrugged. “I suppose.”

Sirius stepped into the kitchen and made his way over to Remus. “Anything I can do to help?”

“No.”

Sirius looked at the trays of unbaked goods sitting next to the preheated ovens. He nodded towards them. “I could put those in…”

“It’s fine, I’ll do it.”

Sirius pointed at the ball of dough beside Remus— the one that he wasn’t kneading. 

“I could do that one?” He reached forward, but Remus stopped him with a sharp tone and a glare.

“ _ No! _ ” 

Sirius paused abruptly, looking up at Remus, shocked at his sudden outburst. “I mean… I just… Your hands...”

Sirius looked down at his hands, callused and rough from his woodworking. They were large hands, maybe that was the problem.

“Too big?” Sirius offered.

“Wha—? No…” For the first time since arriving in Bristol, Sirius detected the slightest hint of a smile tugging at Remus’ lips. “They’re filthy. You need to  _ wash _ them. You can’t touch anything in the kitchen until you do.”

“Oh…” Sirius looked down at his hands again and chuckled to himself. He was used to woodworking, where washing your hands was optional, even after a day’s work. “Right...Yeah…”

Sirius smiled to himself and headed to the kitchen sink. He turned it on and ran his hands under the water before pulling them away and shaking them out.

"With  _ soap _ ," Remus called over his shoulder, casting Sirius a pointed look. 

Sirius rolled his eyes and grabbed the dish soap by the sink, squirting a generous amount into his hands and rubbing them together.

"Under the nails," Remus said, not bothering to look up from his dough. Sirius chuckled to himself as he looked down at his hands again, scarred and worn from years of working with wood.

"What nails?" He muttered, mostly to himself. Nonetheless, he scrubbed his hands thoroughly, rinsed them off, and dried them on a paper towel. He turned to Remus, quirking an eyebrow playfully and making a show of presenting his open palms. "Happy now?"

Remus didn't respond and Sirius felt his heart drop as he realized his poor choice of words. 

He headed to Remus' workspace and stood beside the baker, watching as he pressed his fingers firmly into the dough, seeing the creamy mush give way beneath his strong, purposeful movements. 

"So… can you teach me?"

Sirius indicated the ball of dough beside Remus, hoping that a lesson in baking would be a sufficient distraction for his friend and a momentary respite from real life. 

—

“No, not like-here, let me-” Remus reached over, and the moment his hand settled on top of Sirius’, he knew he’d made a mistake. They hadn’t touched since they’d woken up that morning, and suddenly all he could think about was how warm and rough Sirius’ hands felt in comparison to the dough beneath them. He swallowed. “You are trying to develop the gluten strands in the flour. That’s what holds air bubbles and gives the bread texture.” He pressed on Sirius’ fingers, trying to show how to grip and fold the dough. 

Remus was a bit surprised at how well Sirius followed his instruction, and he quickly fell into the teacher dynamic he had practically lived in during uni- guiding Sirius’ hands, showing him how to stretch the dough and how to see if it’s been kneaded enough. 

“I have no idea what I’m doing,” Sirius laughed, lifting one hand to peer at the dough covering it.

Remus bit the inside of his cheek. “You’re doing really well! Here, let me just shape this loaf.” He quickly did so, depositing the loaf on a baking sheet before glancing back up. “What?”

Sirius was watching him with his mouth partly open. “You’re...really good at that.”

“It’s part of my job, I should hope so.” This time Remus couldn’t hold back a smile. They stood, smiling and just  _ looking _ at each other, for several moments until Remus quickly rubbed his hands on a towel. “Right. We’d better get these rising.” 

He busied himself with checking the oven temperature and making sure everything was right, and when he finally closed the oven door, Sirius was leaning against the opposite counter, a spatula in his hand.

Once again, Remus couldn’t fight his smile, even as he rolled his eyes. “You aren’t going to let this go, are you?”

“You haven’t eaten anything  _ all day _ , Remus.” Sirius pointed the spatula at him. “And I don’t know anything about baking-” that caused Remus to snort- “but I know that rising bread takes time and you also can’t leave with the oven on. So.” He gently nudged Remus into a chair and produced a glass of orange juice. “You will eat.”

Remus picked up the glass and tipped it toward Sirius. “Yes, Chef.”

~

Sirius hummed a tune to himself as he gathered the ingredients needed to make breakfast for Remus. He couldn't suppress his grin as he thought about the feeling of Remus' hand against his, as soft and malleable as the dough they were kneading. 

"What do you like in your omelette?" Sirius asked, sticking his head into the fridge and searching for anything that would taste good in eggs. 

"I'm not picky," Remus offered and Sirius rolled his eyes. 

"You're impossible, you know that?"

Chuckling to himself, Sirius pulled out some vegetables, cheese, and eggs and set to work dicing, occasionally glancing over at the baker sitting at the kitchen table.

"So…" Sirius began as his eggs were frying in the pan, "do you wanna head out once the bread is done, or…" He trailed off, not wanting to mention the word  _ hospital _ directly.

"Yeah, that sounds good." 

Sirius turned to meet Remus' eyes, to try to read his expression, but his face remained stoic. With a subtle nod, Sirius turned his attention back to the eggs. 

"Maybe tomorrow you can teach me a different recipe. I mean… I can't promise that I'll be any good at it, but I'm definitely up for learning…"

"Tomorrow…?"

Sirius swallowed hard, adding the diced veggies and cheese to the eggs, weighing his words carefully.

"Yeah… tomorrow. I'm… I was planning to stay here a while."

"Oh…" Remus muttered. Sirius couldn't tell if that was a good  _ oh _ or a bad one. He bit his lip nervously as he folded the eggs in the pan, waiting for Remus to say something else. "Don't you… have work or something? Back home?"

Sirius gave a casual shrug.

"Not really. I don't exactly have anything keeping me in the city. I mean, I've got a few commissions and stuff that I could be working on, but…"

Sirius lifted the pan and slid the omelette onto an empty plate before bringing it over to the table and placing it in front of Remus. He sat down across from his friend, a gentle smile on his face.

"How are you going to work on your commissions out here?"

Sirius ran a hand through his hair, his grin growing wider.

"Monty had a shop nearby. It's still technically owned by Mum, though it hasn't been used for a while. Figured I'd go in and fix it up and I could just work there. That way, I could keep you company." Sirius' gaze drifted down to the table, his hands fidgeting with the spatula that he forgot to put away. "If… if that's alright by you…"


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: There is a discussion about cancer in this chapter. It does get a bit deep. 
> 
> We apologize for the delay in posting this chapter! Real life has gotten in the way a but, but rest assured, we are still very dedicated to telling this story!! As per usual, thank you to everyone who helped with this chapter and for you readers for being so supportive! We love you!

By the time they were on the bus to the hospital, Remus’ brain felt like it was in knots.  _ Sirius wants to stay with me _ .  _ Mum is in a coma. Sirius wants to learn from me. There was a fire. Sirius is coming to the hospital with me _ .  _ Mum is in hospital.  _

He glanced at the man sitting next to him, dark hair pulled off his neck in a messy bun. Sirius certainly didn’t  _ look _ like he was headed to the burn centre, leaning against the window with his hands in the pockets of his leather jacket. He looked like he would be much more at home headed to an obnoxiously loud concert. But then the bus pulled up to the visitor’s entrance, and Sirius was guiding Remus to the guest services desk. 

It wasn’t until Sirius pulled him into an elevator that Remus realized he hadn’t processed anything in the last few minutes. He ran his hands up and down his arms, as though the elevator was suddenly windy. When he glanced up, Sirius was watching him somberly.

“They, uh, probably won’t let me in the room.”

The elevator doors opened, and Sirius grabbed Remus’ hand and pulled him to the corner of the hall. 

“Remus.”

With strength he didn’t know he currently possessed, Remus lifted his gaze to Sirius’ face. Remus felt Sirius’ slender, rough fingers tighten on his own, reassuring and strong. 

“They probably won’t let me in, if she’s in a coma. They usually restrict it to immediate family.” Sirius’ eyes searched Remus’ face, and some voice in the back of Remus’ head wondered if Sirius could see all his panic.  _ You keep everything bottled up, Rem, _ his mother’s voice chastised through his memories.  _ Won’t you let me in? _

Remus opened his mouth, then closed it. He stepped around Sirius to the nurses’ station and, by some miracle, his voice worked enough to get his mother’s room number. His feet followed the nurses’ directions. There, written in black sharpie, was visible proof of everything his ears had taken in.

_ Lupin, Hope _

The door was just pulled to, not even latched all the way. Remus reached for the handle, then pulled back. He turned and crashed right into Sirius’ chest, and the moment Sirius’ arms wrapped around him, the tears started.

~

Sirius stood with Remus in his arms, face pressed against his chest, for what felt like an eternity. 

At first, one of the nurses tried to politely ask him to leave, but seeing Remus' shoulders heaving and hearing the muffled sounds of his tears gave her pause. Instead, she placed a hand gently on Sirius' arm, giving him a curt nod, before continuing on her rounds.

Sirius pressed his face into Remus' curls, masking the nauseatingly sterile scent of the hospital with the musky smell of Remus' shampoo. He squeezed tighter, closing his eyes and focusing all of his attention on Remus. Being in a hospital, with nurses and staff bustling around, brought back too many memories for Sirius. He breathed deeply, concentrating on the feeling of the rough wool from Remus' jumper against his hands. He needed to be present. He needed to be here. For Remus. 

_ Five things you can see _ , Euphemia's voice said in Sirius' head.

_ Lupin, Hope. Friendly nurse. Remus' hair. Window. Door. _

_ Four things you can hear _ , Euphemia continued.

_ Machines beeping. Nurse talking. Remus breathing. Phone ringing. _

_ Three things you can touch.  _

_ Remus' jumper. Remus' hair. Remus. _

_ Two things you can smell. _

_ Remus' hair. Hospital. _

_ One thing you can taste. _

Sirius briefly thought of Remus' lips, the way they had tasted when they were in his woodshop, an eternity ago. A lifetime ago. Two days ago. He ran his hands up and down Remus' back, keeping constant pressure on his friend. Friend? Was that even the right term for Remus? Was that what they were. 

_ One thing you can taste, Sirius. _ Euphemia interrupted Sirius' thoughts, grounding him, trying to keep him focused. She had talked him through so many panic attacks in the past, Sirius knew the drill by heart. One thing he could taste.

_ Water. _

It didn't exactly have a taste, but it was close enough. 

Sirius felt Remus stir in his arms and he loosened his grip, allowing him to pull away. 

He stared into chocolatey eyes, dark and rich,  _ walnut.  _ Sirius offered Remus a reassuring smile that he hoped his friend wouldn't see through.

"Ready?"

___________

Somehow, Sirius’ smile settled the chaos in Remus’ head and unlocked his tongue. “Thank you. For staying. I’m...I’m glad you’re here.”

It was almost as painful to step out of Sirius’ arms as it was to push open the door with his mother’s name. Remus could hardly tell it was her, wrapped as she was in bandages, lying so still on stark white sheets.

_ I hate white sheets _ , Hope had said to him once, when they were out shopping.  _ There is no reason in the world for sheets to be boring _ . 

One curl had escaped the headband holding back her hair, and the normalcy of seeing it was shocking against the sight of tubes and bandages and machines. Movement caught his eye, and he looked up to see a nurse smiling a sad sort of smile at him, a clipboard in her hand. Without thinking, Remus turned on heel and fled the room, crashing into Sirius just on the other side.

_ Watch where you’re going, Remus, _ said the Hope in his mind.  _ You’re going to end up in hospital one day if you don’t look where you’re going. _

Sirius’ hands grabbed Remus’ bicep, balancing him on his feet. “Remus? You okay?”

“I need- I have to-” Suddenly, Remus couldn’t catch his breath. He looked up, and Sirius brushed a curl away from his forehead, calloused fingers cupping Remus’ cheek. 

“Let’s go back to the flat,” Sirius’ voice was firm, even as his eyes crinkled with concern. Remus nodded, and they set off down the hall, their entwined fingers Remus’ only anchor.

~

Back at the Potter's apartment, Sirius sat Remus down on the sofa in the living room, a cup of tea getting cold on the coffee table. He had just finished slicing Remus' bread and assembling a tray for them to eat when Remus spoke his first words since the hospital.

"Thanks."

His voice was hoarse, broken, and it took every ounce of strength that Sirius possessed not to scoop Remus up in his arms and swallow him in a tight embrace; but that wasn't what Remus needed in that moment.

Sirius placed the tray on the table and sat down beside Remus. He knew he wasn't being thanked for the food or the tea; it was so much more than that. Remus was thanking Sirius for existing, for being there, for not leaving. Sirius put his hand on Remus' and gave it a tight squeeze; long, thin fingers feeling soft in his work-hardened hands. 

"Fleamont passed away last year," Sirius said, breaking the silence that loomed in the living room. He didn't know why he said it, he just felt the words pour out of him all of a sudden. It was as if the emotions had been building up inside of him for the past few days and this was his only chance to let the words out. 

"He was James' dad…" Sirius stared at the food on the table while he spoke, unable to look Remus in the eyes. He had stayed so strong for Remus, been everything that Remus needed him to be, he didn't want to be seen in this moment of weakness. "James' family kind of… well, they adopted me. Fleamont… Monty… he was like a father to me. We spent a lot of time here. He had a woodshop nearby. He's the one who taught me how to build things."

Sirius paused, waiting for some kind of response from Remus, but none came. The two boys sat side by side on the sofa, an oppressive silence enveloping them.

Sirius took a deep breath before continuing.

"We spent a few months visiting the hospital before he passed. He… he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. We sat through chemo. It was hard, seeing him go through that. Every dose, every day… he got frailer and frailer. He became a little less himself. We watched him disappear. Monty was tough. He was a fighter...he was  _ strong _ . I remember we were really hopeful at first. We used to play games on our phones, all four of us. Talking. Hanging out. Chemo sessions were almost fun. It was like we were a family… the nurses used to get mad, he was only allowed one visitor at a time, but Effie and I went every single session. James came most days, too."

Sirius felt his eyes sting, a hard lump forming in his throat. 

"He passed away last year. That's the thing with cancer— It sucks the life out of you. And the cure? That sucks the life out of you, too. He passed away last year, but we had known it was coming. He hadn't been himself for months. We lost him long before he passed. I…" A tear slid down Sirius' cheek and he squeezed Remus' hand once again, seeking the comfort of another human's touch. "I still miss him. I don't know why I'm telling you all this… I guess 'cause… I want you to know that you're not alone? I don't… I can't promise anything. I don't know what outcome any of this will have, but… I'm here. No matter what happens, I'm here. And I know what you're going through. And… and I'm sorry."

Neither boy spoke for a bit, they simply stared ahead at a tray of food and a cold cup of tea resting on the table in front of them.

_______

Somehow, the air seemed lighter, and yet it pressed down on Remus more than ever. He was hyper-aware of Sirius’ fingers between his own, of the way the hairs on his own arm brushed Sirius’, even though their skin didn’t touch. 

“Wait...that’s his workshop you were talking about?”

Remus felt Sirius shift beside him, but couldn’t find the strength to lift his gaze from the coffee table. 

“Yeah.”

“You...can still go in there?”

Sirius shifted again, and Remus saw him reaching for his pocket. “I’ve always got the key on me, actually.” Sirius huffed a laugh, and the sound poured enough strength into Remus that he was able to pull his gaze up.

One of Sirius’ calloused fingers was stuck through a key ring-Remus recognized the motorcycle key, but there were also several others. His house key, presumably, and the key to his shop back in London. But there was a smaller key ring looped through the one that hung from Sirius’ finger, and on it was a single brass-colored key, and a small block of wood. Sirius jiggled the keys, and the wood turned around. Into the other side, was carved the word  _ Hope _ .

Sirius must have read the look on Remus’ face, because the corner of his mouth turned up, and he dropped the keys to his lap. “It’s the first thing Monty ever let me carve by myself, about a week after I moved in with them.”

_ Right _ , Remus thought.  _ Hope is a word, too. _ “It hurts.” Once the words had dislodged from his throat, he couldn’t seem to stop them. “Everything that makes me think about her, it’s like a knife in my gut. Is she okay? Will I ever talk to her again? Will I ever hear her voice?”

“Hey, hey, Remus.” The keys clattered to the floor as Sirius pulled Remus into a hug. “The hurting gets...less. Going to his shop...Helps me feel closer to him, you know? At first it was… hard. Really hard. But now… those memories are all I have. I know he’s not really there or anything but… but going there... it kind of feels like he’s still with me.” 

Remus nodded, the stubble on his own cheek rubbing against Sirius’. His fingers clutched at the fabric of Sirius’ shirt, and as he focused on calming his breathing back down, all he could smell was the wood-scent he was quickly beginning to associate with Sirius. A tiny corner of his mind noticed that the scent was calming Remus down at the same time as sending his heart racing in other ways. He pulled out of the embrace and rose, brushing his hands determinedly on his trousers.

“You like scones, right? Do we have any berries?”


	7. Chapter 7

Remus was asleep.

Sirius had spent the entire night in the living room, watching as Remus paced back and forth, around the table, across the rug, up and down the hallway. It had taken an hour of convincing to get Remus to stop moving long enough to have a quick dinner, after which, the pacing had recommenced. 

Eventually, Remus’ restlessness subsided and gave way to sofa-worrying, which, in Sirius’ opinion, was worse than the pacing. At least when Remus was moving across the room, he was keeping himself occupied. On the sofa, Remus hardly paid attention to the television, which had been turned on as a mere formality. Instead, he chose to fidget with anything and everything within reach, including Sirius’ whittling knife, which was quickly confiscated. 

“Jesus, Remus. We have to get you, like, portable baking or something,” Sirius had joked, the response to which was Remus beginning his pacing again.

Fortunately, Remus was now asleep. 

He had passed out on the couch, his feet next to Sirius’ lap. Sirius couldn’t help but break a smile, looking at Remus’ sleeping form. He really was attractive, and Sirius had spent the past few days trying to keep his mind from wandering back to their feverish passion in his woodshop. Now was not the time to start  _ anything _ , let alone a relationship. 

To clear his mind of Remus and his light snoring, and the way his arm flopped off the couch, and the way his hand twitched slightly in his sleep, and the way his mouth was slightly parted and his eyelashes fluttered slightly— To keep his mind off of Remus, Sirius got up off of the sofa.

He looked down at Remus, debating whether or not to move him to a more comfortable location. After a moment’s deliberation, Sirius decided that the fact that Remus was finally asleep was the most important thing here, and that he should be left to rest. Sirius grabbed one of Euphemia’s knitted blankets from the chair in the corner and gently draped it across Remus’ body, leaving just his face exposed. He sat down on the floor beside the sofa, back pressed against the edge of the cushions, and pulled out his phone.

Woodworking picture after woodworking picture, Sirius flipped through his favourite app, trying to keep his mind focused. When Remus made a soft noise and stirred, Sirius thought he had woken up, but the baker had simply rolled in his sleep, shifting himself into an uncomfortable looking position.

“Oh, Remus,” Sirius sighed, an amorous grin spreading across his face. He shook his head and stood up, carefully approaching his— friend? Is that what Sirius had decided to call Remus these days? Friend? — friend. He scooped Remus up in his arms as gently as he could, trying not to disturb his sleep. Slowly, cautiously, Sirius brought Remus into James’ old room, settling his limp body into the bed. 

When Sirius made to leave, however, Remus’ grip proved too strong. He was sleeping peacefully, but somehow, Sirius was unable to pull himself free. 

_ You could if you really wanted to. He’s just sleeping. _

Ignoring the voice in the back of his head, Sirius decided that the best way to keep Remus from waking up was by allowing himself to remain in his grasp. Sirius tucked both of their bodies beneath the covers of the bed and closed his eyes, letting the warmth from Remus’ body and his steady breathing lull him to sleep. 

________

Remus woke up with his hand in a cramp, tangled up in Sirius’ shirt. He remembered falling asleep on the sofa, though now they were in the same bed they’d slept in the previous night. A glance at the antler-bedecked alarm clock on the nightstand showed that it was nearly five in the morning, and Remus was already feeling antsy to get moving again.

As carefully as he could, he crawled over Sirius and made his way into the kitchen. Deciding that bread was probably not the best choice with his hand cramped up, he made two batches of shortbread. Then he found a large box of currants.

_ Don’t you just love currants, Remus? _ His mother’s voice said, nearly ten years younger with her elbows on the counter of their little yellow kitchen. She’d picked up another Welsh cake off the plate and held it out.

_ I prefer them with sultanas, Mum _ , he’d said, even as he’d taken a bite.

Before he could fall down a spiral of memories, another-much more recent- voice memory surfaced.  _ Going to his shop...Helps me feel closer to him, you know? _

Remus looked down at the box of currants. Then he set out the rest of the ingredients for a double batch of Welsh cakes. By the time they were in the oven, his hand was no longer cramping so he made a batch of challah rolls. He was just contemplating whether he should make a chocolate babka when he noticed-he was out of flour. The bags on the counter were empty. He checked the pantry-no flour in there either. Had he really gone through all the flour James had bought yesterday? Had it only been yesterday? 

The soft pad of bare feet nearly caused Remus to jump, but it was only Sirius, rubbing one eye, his hair wild in its attempt to escape its elastic. Grey eyes met amber, and Sirius froze. 

“What’s wrong? Has something happened?”

“What?” Remus blinked, his mind backtracking on what he had been thinking that might have been showing on his face. “Oh. Er-I ran out of flour.”

A sleepy smile bloomed across Sirius’ face, and Remus’ stomach tied itself in a knot as the other man stepped past him. “Coffee?”

“Er-tea, thank you.”

Without the excuse of baking, Remus reluctantly surrendered the kitchen to Sirius, and watched him bustle about, making tea and coffee and slicing strawberries. 

“Omelette?” Sirius pulled out a pan.

Remus bit the edge of his lip. “We’re out of eggs, too.”

Sirius burst into laughter. “Remus, you’re the only person I know who can run out of eggs before nine o’clock in the morning.”

“You don’t know many bakers then,” Remus muttered, but he couldn’t stop smiling either. He swatted at Sirius' hand as he reached for a Welsh cake. "No! They're for the nurses." But then he glanced up into Sirius face, and he almost immediately relented. "Oh, alright. But at least take one of the misshapen ones."

"Rem, all these look exactly the same."

"No, look! This one is clearly misshapen."

Sirius rolled his eyes, but picked up the indicated cake. Then he scooped up his coffee mug and nudged Remus’ tea across the counter. “Come on then, let’s get dressed. I know a really great breakfast place just around the corner.”

~

"Hey," Sirius muttered over a plate of eggs, a forlorn smile on his face. "Not sure what your plan was for the day, but…" Sirius looked down at his breakfast potatoes, as if they could give him the right words to say. They didn't. "I was... wondering if you wanted to come to the shop with me?"

"The shop?" 

Sirius looked up at Remus, who had barely touched his breakfast, opting instead idly poke at his food.

"Uh… yeah, Monty's shop. I wanted to go over and see if I can clean it up… get it in working order… do you wanna join me?"

In his mind, Sirius knew this was a simple offer, going to a woodshop, cleaning it out; but at that moment, sitting across the table from Remus, it felt like so much more. To Sirius, this was inviting Remus into a part of his life that he had never shown anybody before, not even James. Sirius' gaze fell to his plate as he waited for an answer from Remus, terrified of how he might respond.

"Yeah," Remus said after a moment. "I'd like that." 

Sirius glanced up and couldn't help but smile at Remus, grateful for his— Well, Sirius wasn't entirely sure what he was grateful for. He was just grateful.

"Thanks…"

By the time breakfast was finished and the boys made their way to Fleamont's workshop, it was already mid-day. Remus and Sirius stepped off the bus and stood in front of an old industrial building, renovated to house several spaces for artisans and craftspeople. 

Sirius smiled to himself as he passed by several familiar sets of doors until he arrived at the one he had been searching for. Above the door frame were two signs:  _ Potter Woods  _ and  _ Black and Hammered.  _ The signs appeared to be created by the same craftsman, although the  _ Potter Woods _ sign showed more wear and tear, as if it had been erected several years earlier than its counterpart.

Sirius dug out his key ring, spending a moment to run his thumb along the word  _ hope _ , before inserting it into the handle and turning.

As he walked through the threshold, Sirius' heart sank. 

It had been nearly two years since Sirius had last set foot in Monty's shop, but he hadn't expected it to be in such a state of disrepair. The machines were rusty and covered in a layer of dust. There were animal droppings scattered about the floor from some rodents that had made their home in the space. The room smelled like mildew and mold, instead of the bright woodsy smells that Sirius had always associated with Monty.

This wasn't the workshop he remembered.

With a heavy sigh, Sirius sat down against the wall, head in his hands. He had let Monty's favourite place go to shambles; the shop was a mess because Sirius hadn't checked in on it until now. He wondered what his dad would think of him, seeing the state of the old woodshop. 

_ Sirius, that's the thing you have to learn about machinery. The most important lesson that I can impart on you. You have to treat the machines with respect. The moment you relax, the moment you stop paying attention, that's when you're really in trouble. _

"I'm sorry, Monty," Sirius muttered under his breath, completely forgetting that Remus had joined him in the shop. "I'm sorry…"

—

Watching Sirius slide down the wall of the woodshop yanked Remus’ heart down to the floor. He made to squat down next to Sirius when the other man jumped back up, nearly knocking their heads together. 

“Remus! Sorry, I-” he wiped a hand over his face. “Let me show you around.”

Sirius’ voice droned on, much as it had at the wood store only a few days ago. Only this time, instead of being distracted by Sirius’ hands and jeans and smile, all Remus could think about was how Sirius had shown a tiny crack, only to cover it up the moment he remembered Remus was there.

They wandered through the shop, idly dusting off machines and leaving trails of footprints in the dirt. Remus looked at Sirius the way he looked at a tiered cake: it looked flawless on the outside, but no one knew whether the layers were whole or patched until it was cut open. He knew  _ his _ layers were patched-hell, the last two days had shown him that his own layers were practically crumbling apart.

“Right.” Sirius’ voice cut through Remus’ musings. “We’d better start cleaning then.”

_ Cleaning _ , thought Remus.  _ Thank God, something I know what to do with. _ He found a box of rags that looked clean and turned to hand one to Sirius, when he saw that Sirius had begun sweeping.

“Why are you sweeping?” Remus’ stomach clenched even as the words left his mouth- _ what the hell was he doing, questioning someone in their own space? _

Sirius raised an eyebrow. “Sweeping. Surely someone as obsessive about cleanliness as you knows about sweeping.” 

Remus inhaled sharply. “Of course I know what sweeping is, Sirius. It’s just...it’s best to clean top-to-bottom. That way the floor only has to be swept once.”

Sirius looked down at the broom. “Oh. I...never thought of it that way before.” He leaned the broom against a table and reached for a cloth. “Okay then, Cleaning Sensai. What first?”

“I don’t know anything about cleaning a wood shop, Sirius. These tables are not federally regulated.” Remus opened up a cabinet, expecting to find cleaning products, and instead found thousands of small pieces of wood. He stared at the piles for several moments, and then shut the door. “I suggest we start with bleach.”

~

Sirius and Remus scrubbed and cleaned for what felt like an eternity. Every surface needed attention, every machine needed inspection. At first, Sirius was daunted by the task, but the ease with which Remus approached cleaning helped him feel calmer, more self assured. Remus made it look like cleaning the shop would be— well, it would be a piece of cake. 

Sirius wiped and washed until his hands felt like they were caked in dirt and his sweat-drenched shirt was sticking to his body. Without thinking, Sirius took his t-shirt off, tossing it in the corner with his leather jacket. He had the tendency to take his shirt off whenever he got too warm; the feeling of the damp fabric against his skin made him uncomfortable. When he turned around and saw Remus' face, Sirius was suddenly self conscious. A blush spread across the baker's cheeks, under the freckles that were scattered across his face. His mouth hung open as he paused with his rag in mid-air, until he blinked and hurriedly averted his eyes. 

"Should I… um… not have done that?" Sirius thought that he and Remus had a mutual attraction, considering the fact that they had snogged a few days ago, but with everything that was going on, perhaps Remus' feelings for Sirius had changed. Sirius looked down at his body, suddenly shy about his stomach and how it stuck out slightly over the top of his pants, or how his arms had scars from his years working with machinery. Perhaps it was his tattoos that Remus was uncomfortable with, causing his awkward response. Sirius was a biker after all; tattoos were just a part of his aesthetic. 

"No… it's— it's fine. I'm fine. It's fine…"

Sirius tried to pay no mind to Remus' peculiar behaviour and brush his worries from his head, but he was acutely aware of Remus' eyes following him as he went about the shop. Sirius hoped that taking off his shirt hadn't cost him his friendship with Remus— or a chance at something more.

_ Idiot. Don't think about anything more. Remus is in mourning. Friendship is what he needs right now. Just a good friend. _

———-

It was  _ much _ harder to concentrate on cleaning after Sirius took off his shirt. Remus found himself wondering if his tattoos felt different than the other parts of his skin, remembering what Sirius’ rough hands felt like on Remus’ sides, eyeing the trail of dark hair on Sirius’ stomach. 

_ Quit staring. Focus on cleaning. _

So that’s what he did. He threw himself into cleaning the woodshop as thoroughly as he would his bakery, determined to stay focused and not be distracted. 

He kept getting distracted.

Still, he managed to get Sirius to focus on the machines, which left Remus to the dusting and sweeping, which was monotonous enough that he allowed his eyes (and his mind) to wander. And wander they did-right over to where Sirius was bending over to pick up something off the floor. Remus found himself watching the way Sirius’ jeans tightened across his arse, the way the band shifted and revealed more of his lower back.

“Right,” Sirius announced, tossing a cloth onto a workbench. “Shall we grab a bite to eat before heading to the hospital?”

Remus blinked, then wrinkled his nose. “I am not going  _ anywhere _ without a shower.”

“Oh. Right. Of course. To the flat, then?”

They made their way back down the street, and Remus kept catching his breath every time the backs of their hands brushed. By the time Sirius showed him where the towels were, Remus needed a shower for more than one reason.

~

Sirius hopped into the shower connected to the master bedroom while Remus used the guest bathroom. He didn't usually take showers in the middle of the day, even after working in the shop, but the fact that Remus insisted on washing up made Sirius feel obliged to take one as well.

He stood under the shower head, letting the warm water run through his hair, the pressure of the stream easing some of his tension. 

Sirius couldn't take his mind off of Remus.

The way he bit the edge of his lip whenever he was concentrating on something. The way his fingers would flex ever so slightly when he had something on his mind, as if he was desperate to sink them into some dough. The way he tried not to smile when Sirius made a stupid joke or a pun. 

The way his cheeks turned pink whenever he was embarrassed.

Sirius loved Remus' blush. He loved his freckles and his nose and his chestnut curls. He loved his ears that stuck out from his head and his dorky lopsided grin. 

Sirius closed his eyes, thinking of Remus, letting the heat from the shower fog his better judgement. His hand drifted lower, trailing down his stomach as his heart beat faster in his chest. 

_ Knock knock knock. _

"Shit," Sirius swore under his breath, coming back to his senses. "Yeah?" He called out, hoping Remus could hear him over the sound of the shower.

"Uh…" Remus' voice was muffled by the running water, so Sirius had to strain to hear him. "Do… do you have any shampoo?"

" _ Shit! _ " Sirius turned off the water and stepped out, quickly wrapping a towel around his waist. He had completely forgotten that the guest bathroom didn't have any shampoo. He dug out an extra bottle from under the sink and opened the door.

Standing outside of the bathroom, hair dripping and body still damp, was Remus, dressed in nothing but a towel. Sirius stared for a moment, mouth open, as Remus ran a hand through his curls, splashing water on the floor.

"Uhm… Hi… Sha—Shampoo?"

————

It took all of Remus’ concentration not to let his eyes drift downward, but he could still see in his peripheral vision the water droplets sliding down Sirius’ hair and pooling in the divots of his collarbones. Then he glanced down, and Sirius was holding out a bottle of shampoo. He grabbed it, brushing their fingers together as he tried very hard to keep his breathing steady.

“Thanks.”

With one hand white-knuckled on his towel, Remus retreated to the guest bathroom with the shampoo. He showered quickly and got dressed, returning to the kitchen to box up his baked goods for the nurses. They were neatly stacked on the counter when Sirius finally emerged. 

“I, uh, saved you some scones.” He held out a plate with five scones stacked on it. 

Sirius grinned and grabbed one, making an almost obscene noise when he bit into it. “You’re really good at this baking thing.”

Remus couldn’t help his laugh. “Come on, let’s get these to the nurses.” He handed one stack to Sirius, and they made their way down to the bus.

One stop from the hospital, Sirius stood up. “Come on.”

“Sirius, this isn’t-”

“I have an idea!” He made his way to the front of the bus. Not wanting to be left behind, Remus followed. Sirius made his way out of the bus, and into a flower shop. By the time Remus opened the shop door, Sirius was already at the counter, a bouquet of foxgloves in his hand. 

When Sirius turned around, Remus’ confusion must have been on his face because Sirius half-smiled and said, “For your mum.”

Remus continued staring. “But-how did you know she loves foxgloves?”

Sirius bit his lip. “I...guessed. You’ve got fake ones in your display window at the bakery.”

With a small smile, Remus turned and walked the next block to the hospital.  _ He remembered. _ He couldn’t seem to pull the smile from his lips. With a confirming glance up at the wall directory, Remus turned right down the corridor.

“Uh, Remus?” 

“Hmm?”

“The, uh, burn ward is the other way…” Sirius pointed down the left hall. 

Remus nodded toward the boxes in Sirius’ hands. “Those are for the cancer nurses.” Sirius stared at him, and he swallowed awkwardly. “You know, for Fleamont.”

~

_ “You know, for Fleamont.” _

The words kept repeating in Sirius’ head, over and over. He watched as Remus walked into the Cancer Daycare and talked with a nurse there before handing her a box of baked goods. Sirius couldn’t bring himself to follow him, but he could see the nurse’s smile as she accepted the gift. The baker and the nurse chatted for a bit, and Remus would occasionally glance over at Sirius, flashing him a soft smile. 

When Remus stepped out of the daycare and joined Sirius again, the woodworker was still frozen in place, mouth ajar, unable to form coherent sentences. He felt a lump forming in his throat and a tightness in his chest; he was worried that if he tried to speak, he would just break down into sobs in the middle of the hallway. 

“Hey Sirius, are you okay?”

Remus put a tentative hand on Sirius’ shoulder, causing him to look down into mahogany eyes, gleaming in the afternoon sunlight that poured through the windows. In that moment, more than ever before, Sirius wanted to lean in and kiss Remus.

He had felt the tug in the past, the desire to press his lips against the other man’s. The last three days had been so overwhelming, so jarring, that he had pushed those feelings aside. There, in that moment, standing in the hospital with Remus, Sirius had to hold himself back. He knew that kissing Remus would be a mistake. He knew it. And yet, looking at Remus, the man who had thought about him, about Fleamont, had cared enough to go out of his way for Sirius—

“Sirius?”

Sirius blinked. 

He had to pull himself together. Kissing Remus wasn’t an option. Crying in the hallway wasn’t an option. Sirius knew he needed to be strong for Remus, especially here in the hospital. They were about to go visit Hope, and Sirius knew he had to be a pillar for his ‘ _ friend’ _ . 

“Um… Tha— thank you. Remus. Thanks. I…I really...”

Remus smiled. His eyes scrunched slightly, his cheeks a light shade of pink, his curls almost covering his eyes. Sirius felt his knees grow weak and his heart turn into a puddle of goo. 

“You’re welcome, Sirius. It’s the least I could do.” Remus reached for Sirius’ hand and tugged it gently. “C’mon. Let’s go visit Mum.”

_______

After dropping off baked goods to the burn ward’s nurses, Remus got one of the nurses to let him borrow a vase, and he arranged the foxgloves Sirius had bought on Hope’s nightstand. 

Then, without really thinking, he tucked himself under Sirius’ arm and idly watched Hope’s heart monitor lines go up and down. 

A nurse with a kind smile poked her head in and told them that, if things progressed as they had been, they would be pulling Hope out of her coma tomorrow morning. On instinct, Remus laced his fingers with Sirius’ and squeezed. When she left, he rose up on his tiptoes to whisper, “Let’s go home,” in Sirius’ ear. 

They held hands the entire bus ride back to the flat, and Remus couldn’t quite hide his smile as he watched Sirius reach across to his opposite pocket for the keys, instead of letting go of Remus. As he watched the door latch behind them, the click echoed through his mind: Sirius taking him wood shopping; Sirius making a sign for his bakery; Sirius offering to stay in Bristol with him; Sirius buying flowers for his mum.

“What?”

Remus blinked, and realized that he’d been staring at Sirius, who was raising his eyebrows. For once, Remus didn’t think. He just placed one hand on Sirius’ broad chest, and leant up, pressing their lips together.

“Thank you.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! You can find us on Tumblr as @maraudererasmut and @purplechimera8 if you wanna come say hi!


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